Stalker's Tango

21: Father Knows Best

【ωαяиιиg】: Excessive Swearing, Excessive use of the word "Fuck(ing)", DILF's (literally this time) (this is bait it's about [Y/n]'s dad), [Y/n] is going through it, Author may or may not have gotten lost in that Genshin and Undertale sauce

sɪᴍɪʟᴀʀɪᴛɪᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜᴍsᴛᴀɴᴄᴇs ᴏʀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴs ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ᴄᴏɪɴᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟ.

♪────Ｏ(✿◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*Ｏ────♪

You're doing your dang best to ignore the constant, uninterrupted staring that's been happening for the past 15 minutes. Just trying to live your fucking life, cutting vegetables, and thinking of a lesson plan for your class tomorrow on Monday.

Really, for once, you're being super normal.

So it's not YOUR fault there's a fucking serial killer in your Goddamn kitchen watching you cook!!

You look back the the brunette with furrowed brows, scrunching up your nose when he waves at you like some dork.

"Do you like tomatoes?" You ask him.

Ticci Toby scrunches his nose in turn, "Not really."

"Good."

You proceed to dump the diced tomatoes into the pan.

"Fuckin' bitch."

"Fuck you! Get the fuck out of my apartment, then!"

"It's 9 in the morning, stop yelling," He sighs, his neck ticking to the side, "I swear, I don't get what they see in you if this is how you are."

"That's what I've been trying to tell these losers since day one!" You defend yourself, pointing your spatula at him accusingly, "This is exactly why I stopped trying to do good deeds, it just waters down the experience."

Propping his elbow on the table, Ticci Toby leans his cheek on his fist. His other hand is on the island, drumming his fingers impatiently.

"Tell me about it."

You turn back around (even though every time, your mind yells at you for turning your back on a murderer) to stir the food in the pan. It's nothing too crazy, just potatoes, bacon, eggs, and tomatoes. You don't like tomatoes in your eggs either, but you're on a mission to piss these people off as much as you can.

"I don't understand why you're here, seriously." You mutter under your breath, knowing he can hear you because of course these people have good senses too. "The past week you've kept your distance, why change it up now?"

"Huh? Uh, no reason."

...

Ugh.

"You realized you like free food too, didn't you?"

"[Y/n], I'd be a fucking moron to pass up free food that isn't made by psychopathic murderers."

You sigh heavily.

These bitches really only want you for your food.

The situation regarding Ticci Toby isn't as bloody and scary as you would initially expect.

Don't misunderstand though, ever since Ticci Toby showed up on Friday night, there have been "accidents" that nearly killed you every time that guy is around.

You're not stupid enough to not know what he's trying to do, but lucky enough that you've been managing to survive it.

You will admit that the reason you've been lucky is because of the power of toxic friendships. Tim is still living with you and has been keeping the closest eye on you.