Good Omens: The Ineffable Family Chronicles

Apple Picking Go Wrong

Crowley and Aziraphale were lying down side by side on the red tartan picnic blanket enjoying the sunshine. Aziraphale was sleeping, his head resting in the crook of Crowley’s arm. 
 
Crowley ran a hand through his husband’s snowy blond curls and let out a contented sigh. His life was perfect. His life with Aziraphale was absolutely perfect.
 
He closed his eyes , the sound of Aziraphale’s breathing lulling him to sleep.
 
 
Thirteen year old Eden Alexandria Queen Fell stared up at the plump red apples that we’re above in the tallest apple tree in the forest. 
 
Eden eyed the trunk, analyzing every knob and groove; each one would help her reach her target.
 
 
She wanted to surprise her father’s with an armful of the first ripe apples of the season. She waited for them to fall asleep after their picnic before she finally snuck off.
 
Eden was finally within reach of a large plump apple and right when she grabbed it and broke it from the stem, there was a loud CRACK!
 
 
A scream of agony woke Aziraphale and Crowley.
 
“Crowley! Where’s Eden?”
 
“Ngk, she was right over there, talking to a mole or something….” When he turned to point to where Eden was, she wasn’t there.
“Oh my god! EDEN!” They both cried in unison as they shot to their feet and ran in the direction of the scream.
 
 
 
 
Eden lay on the ground crying in agony, clutching her now swollen arm, apples forgotten.  
 
Her head swam with pain as she tried to sit up but the movement was too painful. She must have drifted out of consciousness because the next thing she knew, she heard voices calling her name.
 
The sun had started to set.  Aziraphale and Crowley we’re getting frantic.  It wasn’t like Eden to wander off like this, and what was more worrying was that the screaming had stopped leaving the forest eerily quiet.
 
“Eden! Eden! Please answer me! It’s Papa!” Aziraphale called as a cold breeze blew through the trees.
 
Now it was getting cold.
 
“Queenie!” Crowley called as he searched through bushes and thickets. Aziraphale was flying above looking in the trees.
 
 
 
“Help.” Crowley and Aziraphale both heard the weak cry, and ran in its direction recognizing the voice. 
 
“EDEN!”
 
 
The pain was so bad that Eden’s sobs rose in pitch as Aziraphalelanded with a soft thud and dashed to his daughter’s side.
“Eden, my love are you alright? Oh my of course you’re not all right what’s wrong my darling?”
His heart broke as Eden looked up at him, her eyes glazed with pain.
 
“M-My arm…!” she rasped as Crowley finally found his family and he practically demolished any foliage that stood in his way. “Eden!”
 
“Oh my god, Eden, baby, it’s okay, I’m here. Papa and I are both here!” Aziraphale gently passed Eden into his waiting arms and had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat when he finally got a look at Eden’s arm. The arm was bent at an awkward angle and the smooth sun tanned skin was swollen and red.
“Ngk. Aziraphale, it looks bad.” Crowley said as he watched Aziraphale gently touch the arm. Eden grimaced and screamed against Crowley’s chest. Crowley hugged her tightly, so desperately wanting to make the pain stop.
 
“Her arm is broken in two places, but a quick miracle will do the trick. Eden sweetie, I’m so sorry this hurts but I’m afraid it’s going to hurt more before I’m done.”
Crowley winced. Since Eden was half demon, healings from her Papa were a bit painful. According to Eden, whenever Aziraphale would have to heal a cut or scrape, it would entail a painful sting that felt like a bee sting.
 
But with a severe injury like this, it would most likely be agonizing. 
 
Aziraphale and Crowley’s eyes met. It was killing them both that their daughter was in so much pain.
“Papa, please, make it stop. It hurts so much…” Eden sobbed.
Aziraphale took a deep breath and said, “Okay dear, hold your father’s hand and scream as loud as you wish.”
 
Eden let out a muffled whimper as Crowley took her good hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve got you Queenie. I’ve got you.”
 
Without another word the healing began, the hand that was gently touching Eden’s broken arm began to glow with a bright white light and almost instantly, Eden squeezed Crowley’s hand and screamed in agony as the light grew brighter.
 
Crowley hugged Eden tightly and said words of comfort as it seemed his daughter’s suffering would never end….
But just as suddenly as the healing began, it was over. Finally over.
Eden sagged against Crowley’s chest, breathing heavily. Aziraphale looked a bit pale and drained which must have been due to him feeling Eden’s pain and her emotions which sometimes took the angel by surprise. 
 
It was almost completely dark now. Eden was completely exhausted. “I’ll carry her angel.” Crowley said as Aziraphale draped his coat around Eden. 
“N-No Dad. I can walk.”
“Wot? Eden no you shouldn’t, you just broke your arm!” Eden couldn’t be swayed and Aziraphale helped her to rise to her feet shakily. “I’m fine. I can walk.” 
“All the same Eden, you seem quite shaken after your ordeal.” Aziraphale didn’t need to say a word to make it clear that he wasn’t going to leave Eden’s side.
 
The trio made their way back to the picnic site slowly, and Crowley quickly gathered up their things and stuffed their items in the basket and they began to make their way back to South Downs.
 
Eden was clearly getting more tired by the step and without a fuss, she let Crowley scoop her up in his strong slender arms and he carried her rest of the way.
 
“Wot in Someone’s name we’re you thinking Eden?” Crowley asked as they finally reached the cottage.
 
“I wanted to surprise you both with the first apples of the season. They looked so scrummy…” Eden said as she drifted asleep in her father’s arms.
 
She drifted awake and found herself sitting on the comfy couch, the smell of cocoa filled the room as Aziraphale entered with a steaming mug.  “How are you feeling Little One?” 
“I’m not little anymore!” Eden said tiredly as she accepted the cocoa. 
“You’ll always be my Little One…” Aziraphale replied as he watched Eden take a long drink. 
 
“I feel a lot better now, thank you.” 
She then realized that Crowley was gone. “Where is Daddy?” 
“He went to collect those apples.” Eden took another long drink and wished she went with him. She loved walking with him at night; it was so cool having the ability to see in the dark.
 
They didn’t have to wait for long though and Crowley returned with a paper bag full of the first seasons apples. “I think Eden knocked out every apple out of that tree.” Crowley said as the family checked each one for bruises. 
“Serves the damn thing right!” Eden said with a scowl. “That damn branch deceived me!” she shuddered as she recalled the branch she had been standing on. At the time it looked strong enough to take her weight.
 
“Well, there’s not a single bruise on any of these, I guess you can say your efforts we’re quiet fruitful, dear.”
“Oof, no Papa. Just no. Bad pun! Eden said with a wince as Crowley face palmed.
“But you two do it!” Aziraphale pouted.
“There’s a time and a place angel!”
“Well, bad pun or not, it seems we’re going to have a busy day of baking tomorrow!”
 
Eden quickly grabbed a few apples and said, “Great! Just not with these! I’m getting a bit peckish.”
Crowley chuckled as Aziraphale stopped Eden from taking a bite, “Wash them off first young lady!”