Good Omens: The Ineffable Family Chronicles

First Halloween

South Downs Cottage had been completely transformed. Halloween was Crowley’s favorite holiday and he had gone out of his way to spruce up the cottage to look like a haunted house on the outside and on the inside, it looked like a Halloween realm had threw up inside their home, much to the delight of their baby daughter. 

Eden Alexandria Queen Fell had been quite surprised by the sudden and unexpected change that had been made to the cottage and was instantly enamored by the spooky decorations. 

The best part was all of the Halloween themed sweets that her Papa would bake and share with her. Macaroons with pretzel legs made them look like spiders; cupcakes slathered white icing, with two large chocolate chips as eyes made them into spooky yet scrummy ghosts. These were just some of the treats that the little infant had been stuffing her chubby cheeks with. 

Eden had watched with fascination as her parent’s hollowed out and pumpkin and then carved a face into the orange fruit. She sadly was too young to eat the roasted cinnamon pumpkin seeds Aziraphale had prepared, but a ghost cupcake was the perfect substitute for the baby.

Eden gaped in wonder as Crowley placed a burning candle into the Jack O’Lantern , making the snarling face glow.
“You don’t think it’ll frighten her do you?” asked Aziraphale.

“Nah, look at her, she loves it!” Crowley replied, beaming. “Big spooky fan we.” 

“Yes, she certainly takes after you.” sighed Aziraphale with content. Only a couple of months, and then it would be Christmas….his Little One’s first Christmas! And the angel’s favorite holiday! Crowley loved it just as much as Halloween; he would admit begrudgingly……
 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale called. “We’re going to be late!” The three of them should have left fifteen minutes ago, to meet the Pulsifer’s, Shadwell and Tracey, Eden’s godparents at the bookshop, where they would all then go trick-or-treating. 

Newton, Anathema and their baby daughter, Bella, who was a couple of months older than Eden, were going to be Wizard of Oz characters while Shadwell and Tracey were going to be pirates this years.

Aziraphale was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, dressed as a Victorian Sherlock Holmes. 

Crowley meanwhile, had scooped up the baby, who had been playing in her play pen with Ducky and her Paddington along with her pink stuffed unicorn, Pinky. Crowley hand broken free of buying duck themed toys and clothing and was now in a unicorn theme spree. Now Eden toy box and wardrobe was turning into a duck and unicorn smorgasbord.

The two of them had disappeared into the nursery and hadn’t been seen since. He had suggested many great costume ideas for the baby, but Crowley had insisted that he already picked the perfect costume and to the angel’s frustration, the demon wouldn’t tell him what it was. Or what he was going to be.
His husband had reassured him and said it was going to be a, “surprise”.”

“We’re coming angel! Hold yer horses!” Crowley called through the slightly opened door.

“Why on Earth would I hold a horse?” Aziraphale muttered.

At long last, he heard the nursery door creak open the rest of the way and Aziraphale looked up expectantly and was surprised by what he saw. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” he laughed, so that’s what had happened to the metal trash bin. Crowley had used it for this….costume of his.

“This is the way.” Crowley said in a deep voice, in a very convincing American accent. A very arousing American accent, Aziraphale thought to himself…..

“Don’t you recognize it?” Crowley asked, his voice muffled by the metal track bin helmet.
“Oh, yes, I do now. The Mangolorian.”
“The Mandalorian, angel.” Crowley corrected. 

“I must say, this is a lovely piece of work, although you owe me a new trash bin dear boy!” Aziraphale then realized something. 
“Where’s the baby?”

“Shit!” Crowley dashed back up the stairs, or tried too, it was a little difficult in his Mandalorian armor and went back into the nursery and he returned downstairs to a very amused Aziraphale.

“Little One, what in Heaven’s name are you wearing?!” Aziraphale laughed. Crowley had the baby snug in her swaddle sling and she was dressed as some sort of green alien with pointed ears. Her wild, dark flame curls stuck out here and there. 

“It’s our child, of course!” Crowley huffed. “Or to be specific, The Child!” 

“Oh, baby Yoda!”

Crowley sighed, “Yes, that works too I guess.”

On closer inspection Aziraphale realized that the green head and ears was a knitted hood. So that’s where his spare knitting needles and light green ball of yearn went. “You really outdid yourself love. Did you make the outfit yourself too?” He asked, admiring the light brown shawl that Eden was wearing too.
“Yep. Tracey had a bunch of spare fabric from her fortune telling days just lying around, collecting dust and she said I could help myself.” Crowley then handed Eden her pink unicorn sippy cup, except it was no longer a pink sippy cup. Crowley doctored it up to look like a little clay cup from a tavern. Except for the pink lid you could almost swear it was from a cantina from a galaxy far far away… 
Little Eden took the cup and began to sip eagerly, her taste buds greeted by the delicious taste of chicken noodle soup.

Aziraphale’s eyes suddenly widened. “Tracey! We must get a wiggle on! They must be at the shop by now, we mustn’t keep them waiting!” He grabbed his husband by the hand and led him out the door. 
“I really wish you wouldn’t say that angel.” Crowley muttered, blushing furiously under his mask as the trio made their way to the Bentley.