Daily Thoughts

The end..?

This will be maybe the last time I will write about you. I lost all my feelings toward you. I will never text you again , try to make an eye contact , even look at you from afar . I'm done now. You don't want me ? It's okay , better choices are available. But to think that I'm desperate for coming back everytime and apologizing for doing nothing , and just making excuses to talk to you again ...... No , it can't be like that.

I loved you so much more tan you could ever know . I loved you more than anybody I loved before you , more than anybody else . Your place in my heart were special , I' ve always thought of you , no one took your place and I tried to fix things to just not lose you. I've lost a lot of people lately , some were my friends , some others my best friends , some from my family ... They all left me alone , whithout any reason. And there's you , who told me that I can love you , and consider you as a member of my family , as a friend , as a best friend , as a lover ..... You were my everything. 

Nobody can know how special you were to me . Maybe one day you should read this book to know how much I love you and my feelings were to you..? but you'll obviously think that I'm a shame and I couldn't find anybody else , that's why I still holding on you . I really wanted you ! because , if I ever wanted to find someone else , I would  ! But I chose you , and you thought that i'm desperate.

I loved you so so much , more than I loved my parents , my own family..... I've told you about everything , I wanted you so much in my life , you were my everything , like , why did you go..? wasn't I enough .., or you just felt overloved that you had enough and you left me..?

Maybe I'm the problem for everybody , I have to dissapear . I will just write a letter for you here , because it's the only safe place I can place you in.

"My dear love , 

I love you so much , I know that you are used to hear this phrase , but I really love you .

You changed my life and you made it much better . I'm so sa that you have to leave , because now , Im left alone among the shadows of nothing, hoping that one day you'll come back , and fix things between us.

Every night , I stare at the ceilling in the dark , with the same old empty feelings in my heart , thinking of you , and what did I did , how could've been our perfect future together , and then I fell asleep while thinking of you , and I dream aboutthe beautiful moments that we can spend together if we fix things.I hug my pillow everynight thinking of you , some tears fell off my eyes...

I really hope one day you'll understand how much I loved you , how much I wanted you to stayy, and how much you meant to me .

with all my heart ,

best regardes,

take care of yourself, 

SAL"