Daily Thoughts

I'll.....

       I feel like I don't belong in anyone's memories.

      Not even in yours.

   

       Now I keep wondering why we've met if we wouldn't belong together... ?

           Yes, I still crying and thinking about you everynight. Because I miss you. And you meant a lot for me, even if sometimes, when I remember how was the end of our relation, I feel like those beautiful days that we've spent together was just a lie. Maybe it was, but for me , it was a beautiful lie. Even if I knew that, that was the ending, because I overthink a lot, but I still hate and can't accept this ending. 

            Maybe one day, we'll be able to return to the past, so I'll return and just fix things between us, or just choose to never meet. Even if I don't think that I'll make the second choice. Because I'm weak. And I'm still holding on you.

             I'm still waiting for you like an idiot who's waiting for a dead person to become alive again. Like, there's no hope that you'll come back and fix things, but I keep waiting for you. That's the saddest part of overloving someone. Also, overloving you made me feel overhurt. 

           And now, I don't know what to do. I'll keep waiting for you and thinking about you everyday and everynight, even if you're no longer in my life, I'll be always waiting for you. And if one day you'll decide to come back like nothing happened, I'll......... Honestly I've never thought about this part. Maybe I'll talk to you again and forget all what happened. I mean I'll "pretend" I've forgot. Or I just tell him that  you no longer belong in my life.... Even if I want him so badly. I'll never know the real and the right answer for this question......

        Nobody wanyed us to be together, and they won. 

        I did my best, but at least you're gone.

        I still hoping that you're memories won't fade away ,

        To just keep thinking of you.

       ....

       I still love you.