Kirby x Pokemon AU: Champion of Popstar

Bonus Chapter 7: She Caused The Genesis of Disaster!

"What's up, guys? Flamberge here! Today, we are taking a trip to the Halcandra Museum and summoning the sleeping disaster Pokemon of legend! It's going to be great..."  Flamberge turned off her phone, "...Is what I would be saying if I were vlogging... But I can't. Gotta do this tough-as-Aggron mission for Lord Hyness!"

Midnight had just set over the Arid Dunes. The moonlight was shrouded in dark clouds, and the temperatures were colder than the average trainer would expect.

"Flamberge, it's time-"

"Francisca! I thought we were going to use code names like you promised!"

"B-But Flamberge! Won't this complicate things? Plus, it's not like anyone will intercept our signal. We have Lord Hyness' psychic Pokémon creating our secret line-"

"Pleaaaase use my code names?-"

"HURRY UP, YOU TWO!" Another voice interrupted.

"Okay, Zapdos!" Flamberge chuckled.

Francisca held in her laughs as she began tapping away on her laptop.

"Moltres! Are you at the front entrance?" Francisca called to Flamberge.

"I am! Articuno... You know, maybe the nicknames weren't a good idea. I'll drop it," The young thief laid low in the sand, waiting for Halcandra Museum's owner, Gym Leader Landia, to leave their post. "Ugh! Will that old person MOVE? It's super late! Go to sleep or play some Candy Crush, why don't ya?"

A few minutes had passed, and the fiery thief noticed Landia dosed off on the front steps. Flamberge raced across the sand on foot and crept past the elderly, sleeping Gym Leader. But before she unlocked the front entrance, Flamberge gave Landia a blanket to stay warm.

"FLAMBERGE!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GET A MOVE ON!" Zan Partizanne yelled over the phone.

"Oh, shut it! You'd do the same thing if Lord Hyness fell asleep in the cold!"

"But this is the enemy, Flamberge! Watch your tone!"

Flamberge hung up the phone.

"Why don't you watch your mouth? Nyeh!!!"

The thief brought out her flame sword and paced around the main hallway covered in paintings and art donations. She carefully investigated each artifact in glass cases and read the description of each item.

"The skull of a Dragonite... some boring fossils... Oh!"

Flamberge spotted a painting that was created by the famous Frontier Brain, Adeleine. It was a beautiful rendition of a map of the Popstar region. With The Battle Frontier Dome right in the centre, the Pokémon League to the East end, and Popopo Village being the most western point of the region.

"I hate Popstar, but damn, these colours are bright as hell! What kind of acrylic paint did she use... THIS WAS MADE FROM CRAYOLA?!"

Flamberge covered her mouth and scurried down the glass stairs toward the second floor, afraid she might have alerted the security guards.

"Oh, okay... Alright. Stay calm! Gotta look for it... WHAT'S THIS?!"

Flamberge spotted a painting of two women romantically holding hands on an empty beach under the sun. The thief sighed with wonder, impressed by the artistry that captured her feelings.

"Some day... That'll be me. One day,"

The sword wielder kept walking down flights of stairs, each room getting stranger than the last.

The top floor seemed to have typical museum items on display, like old Pokémon fossils, sculptures of famous trainers, and pretty paintings. Even the floor itself looked generic, with white walls and enormous signs that led guests to popular works of art.

But the bottom floor looked completely abstract. The walls were covered in blotches of random patterns, and the items displayed looked otherworldly. The creepiest detail was an odd, surreal painting in the middle of the room. 

The art was of a child in a blue and white suit with golden trims. They appeared to be sitting in a royal red chair with trophies in the background. Most of the painting was in an impressionist, semi-realistic style. But the face was distorted with neon colours, thick lines and scratches.

The painting's description read: To the son I tried to love. I'm sorry.

"... What the heck happened here? Who's in that painting and why is this so sad? Ugh, I hate gloom." Flamberge turned away and spotted a bookcase that led to a hidden room.

In this little space, there were storage boxes and a single ruby-red gem in a glass box. The sword wielder gasped and quickly phoned Francisca.

"Fran! Tell me what the gemstone I'm supposed to be looking for looks like!"

"It's a red gem in the shape of a heart, purple accents around the edges, in the middle, there should be a tiny purple spot. To tell if it's the real deal, hold it under blue light, and watch it turn iridescent,"

Flamberge brought out a flashlight and pointed it toward the gemstone. The entire room radiated a rainbow hue.

"THIS IS IT! FRAN! I FOUND IT!"

"Good! Now get out of there!"

"Gotcha!"

Flamberge snatched the glass box and raced up the flight of stairs. She dodged security one final time and made it to the first floor.

"Heh, gotta love stealing-"

Suddenly, the glass box was snatched from her by an older gentleman in a red hat and fancy clothes.

"Thank you, we'll be taking this!" He chuckled.

"Hey, old man!" Flamberge yelled as she leapt forward and kicked the leader of the Squeaks down, "That's my glass box!"

She retrieved the box and made a run for it.

"Heh, what a rookie thief! Minccino! Get that glass box with Baby Doll eyes!"

The Chinchilla Pokémon ran in front of Flamberge and made a cutesy-wide-eyed face. The young thief was not impressed and tossed the cute Minccino away.

"Ha! Cute things don't work on me!" Flamberge laughed as she ran outside.

"Alright, young lady, you leave me no choice! Minccino! Thief!"

The Chinchilla Pokémon attempted to snatch the gemstone but was met with a foot to the face. Minncino went flying and went tumbling toward his trainer.

Flamberge stood by the edge of the stairs, lifted the glass box up, and began shouting.

"OH, LEGENDARY POKEMON OF MYSTERY. LET YOUR TRUE FORM UNLEASH AND CAUSE MISERY TO THE ENTIRE REGION!"

The gemstone vibrated momentarily and unleashed a little bit of purple smoke from the centre, causing the gemstone to turn a hazy purple. Daroach attempted to snatch the gemstone away but was met with a barrage of punches and kicks to the face. 

Flamberge let out another loud cackle before hitching a ride on a small Pidgey high into the sky.

"SO LONG, OLD MAN!"

"I'M NOT OLD, YOU RUDE AS HELL TEENAGER! I'M THIRTY-FIVE! THAT'S STILL YOUNG TO ME!" Daroach coughed as he was left in the sand, "Kids these days, they have no class or manners!"

Meanwhile, Flamberge was high in the air, still carried by a tiny Pidgey she borrowed from one of the Noir Terminus grunts. The Tiny Bird struggled to fly but was determined to do its job.

"Hey! Pidgey! Keep at it! You're doing a swell job! Speaking of swell, I am so glad I got that anonymous letter from that hooded stranger. Otherwise, I could have been fired for not finding anything important lately and, like, I need to keep my job! I'm not into being a supervillain like Parmesan Cheese, but I need a place to stay! And..."

Flamberge kept happily rambling to the carrier Pidgey. It prayed to Arceus that the young thief would eventually shut up.