Note to Self

Journal #87

I was so afraid of writing back then.

What if I made a lot of grammar mistakes?
What if I spelled things incorrectly?
What if people judged me?
What if I couldn’t write what I was supposed to?
What if I couldn’t please my readers with what I wrote?

I was full of “what ifs” even before I began.

This is why I always hesitated to write.

Until there came a time when I had no choice but to face it.

It was 2015.

It was our Speech and Stage Arts class.

I thought being a propsman for a theater play would be enough to pass the subject, but it wasn’t.

We were tasked with writing and presenting a speech—not as a group, not as a class, but individually.

Imagine the anxiety swelling within me at the thought of not only writing but also presenting my work.

I was my harshest critic, overwhelmed by fear. I was terrified.

Yet, I didn’t want to fail.

So, I stepped up.

In a small, four-walled classroom, with my teacher and fifteen fellow English majors, I stood before them, looking bookish and nervous, adjusting my glasses as I prepared to share my heartfelt story of love at first flip.

Fast forward to 2024.

While tidying my usually chaotic room, I stumbled upon that very first speech I presented.

Back in 2015, it seemed ordinary.

But now, looking back, I find it thrilling.

I know I was nervous then, but I can’t erase the fact that I was excited to share my first heartbreak from my puppy love.

This was the spark I had been waiting for.

It marked the beginning of my journey to continue writing and presenting.

It was proof that I could write and that I had a voice worth hearing.

I discovered my ability to weave gripping narratives. I realized that every moment will never be repeated, and one way to preserve it is to write about it.

From then on, I never stopped writing.

I poured my thoughts and feelings onto the page, finding immense satisfaction in the process.

And I hope that with you, it’s the same as well.

I hope that if you ever hear that little voice within you urging you to write, you do so.

Great writers will never judge you.

Like me, you may be your harshest critic, but you can learn to be gentler with yourself once you start sharing what’s within you through your own crafted words

Your life story,
your perspective,
your voice

They are all unique. There will be no one like you so there will be no writing like yours.

So, write.

Give your readers an opportunity to see through your lens—to catch a glimpse of what you think, feel, and sense.

Immerse them in your world.

Continue writing. Pour out a gallon of your own narratives and blend them with theirs.

Write. Inspire. And write once again.

The chain never stops as long as you keep writing.