Note to Self

Journal #88

𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘'𝗦 𝗔 𝗕𝗜𝗚 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗬 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗗 🤫

Years ago, I was obsessed with being right.

I needed to win every argument.

I had to prove my point.

I wanted everyone to see things MY way.

Akala ko kasi that’s how life works—may RIGHT way at may WRONG way.

Pero sa journey ko, through successes and failures, especially through spiritual practices and inner work, I’ve come to realize something:

Life is not black and white; it's not binary. Everything exists in a spectrum.

Here’s what I mean:

Take the classic advice na..

"Don’t announce your goals; just do the work."

May wisdom diyan, kasi it’s about protecting your vision from negativity or doubters.

But then, there’s also power in the opposite approach—announcing your goals out loud to create accountability.

Both approaches have helped people achieve great things, yet they’re seemingly in opposition.

So which one is right?

Take more examples:

👉 You need to hustle vs you need rest.
👉 You need to plan carefully vs you need to trust your instincts.
👉 You need to hold on vs you need to let go.
👉 You need to give vs you need to receive.

So, again, which one is right?

The answer, I found, is both—and neither.

𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗛 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛 𝗜𝗦 𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗗 ✅❌

My friends and I were talking about this recently—debating between:

“Fill your own cup first”

versus

“Give to others first.”

Sabi nung isa:

"You can’t pour from an empty cup; you need to be whole yourself to give effectively."

The other friend, on the flip side, was like:

"But giving itself is the act that fills you up. So you need to prioritize giving."

And as I listened, it hit me—these aren’t contradictory beliefs; they’re just two sides of the same coin.

Both are correct, but maybe one is more right depending on where you are in life, or even in the day.

For example, may times na uunahin ko sarili ko para recharge mode. Other times, I pour out to others kahit pagod na ko kasi the act of giving itself becomes energizing.

It’s a balancing act, not a rigid formula.

Another example naman, when too much can be a bad thing, even with something as pure as spirituality or inner work.

There was this friend I used to know na talagang all-in sa “inner work.” Super valuable naman nung start, but eventually, it turned into a loop.

Puro na siya “honoring MY truth,” to the point where principles like cooperation, consideration, teamwork, and collaboration started fading.

She was so focused on her own journey that she forgot the other side of growth—that our connections with others are just as important as the one we have with ourselves.

Kaya ko na-realize, even with something as pure as self-work, there’s a tipping point.

And honestly, hindi ako nagmamalinis dito, as I’ve found myself in an almost similar (but different flavor) trap.

There was a time when I was so absorbed in my own needs and wants that I couldn’t see the impact on the people who counted on me. I hurt someone who trusted me deeply, all because I was so focused on what I felt I needed. My actions, justified in my own mind, ended up breaking someone else’s trust.

So yeah, there's always a danger in absolutes.

Another realization I had with regards to this topic? That too much inner work can ironically reinforce a belief that we're broken and that there’s always something to fix. 💯

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗬 𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗔: 𝗡𝗢 𝗔𝗕𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗦 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 🌓

And that's one of the big reasons why we're triggered.

We see things in black and white—right or wrong—when, in reality, both sides can be true at different times.

Kaya naman these days, I’ve learned to avoid the “always” and “never” mindset. I’m even careful with using such phrases like:

🗣️ “You should always do this or that,” or
🗣️ “That will never work.”

I now see life more like a toolkit—different tools for different times.

Parang weather forecast lang: there are seasons and cycles in life.

Sometimes, the right answer is to hold things in, to do the work silently. Other times, it’s time to shout your dreams out loud to get that fire under you.

Because at the end of the day, life isn't about finding the right answer.

It's about learning to move gracefully between all answers.

And maybe that's the biggest truth of all:

The answer is rarely "either/or."

It's usually "both/and."

Just at different times, in different ways, for different seasons of life. 🌦️