ᴇx-ʙᴏʏʀꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ɴᴇxᴛ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ

Chapter 38

Yuvaan

I lay on my bed. Troubled. Her words need to stop affecting me so much. Why does whatever she say hit me? I checked my phone. 3am.
Great, back to no sleeping.

How is she?
Why would she sleep on the couch?!

I got up and walked towards her outside. I saw her lying on the bed, asleep. I walked towards her and knelt down slowly. Removing a small strand of hair behind her ear, I saw her face.
Still relaxing. Very relaxing.
Is her face tear-stained?
What the heck?!
I caressed her face.
I sighed, "Nishtha, why do you do and say things which you get hurt by?" I said, looking at her.
I noticed her figure, she was cold.
I ran inside and got her a blanket and kept it on her, and then knelt again. I turned around and rested my back on the couch she was sleeping on.

My mind had been disturbed by her argument with me, how I wanted to correct her about the reason of our marriage but I had made it clear that she was to never find out, and how I messed up my words and it triggered it horribly.

But what I had heard when I finished my work call had disturbed me the most.

Flashback:

"Yes. We'll sort it out once I'm back, Rupert. How is everything else going?" I asked.
"It's all good. Priya is handled it really well."
"I'm sure she is."
"She is your wife's friend, right?"
"She is."
"I must say then, that whole group is really good at their job."
"They really are." I said, "Nishtha is happy at IBM, right?"
"She is, she's been really good."
"She's always wanted to work there, it's been a dream since she was 19."
"Wow, she's an asset to us... and you I'm sure!"
I felt a small smile coming.
No, Yuvaan. Stop.
"I... Yeah. Thanks. Anyway, I will talk you later."
"Sure! See you!"

He cut the call and I headed to my room. I was about to remove my AirPods when I heard Nishtha's voice.
".... I don't regret anything that we did or said back then Vamika..."
Why is she talking to Vamika?
Why is she talking about that night?!
I stood by the door, and heard, "...we were in the right, that's what matters. He won't ever see it, but if we hadn't done what we did or said what we did, you know how bad things would have been."
Is she talking about me?
"This is a small price to pay for a big resolution. Don't worry about me.... Just don't feel guilty and don't ask me this again, please. You're planning to study ahead... do that, focus on that. Don't worry about me, okay?
I stood stuck.
What did I hear?
Why is she being this way?
Was there something I don't know?
Suddenly, she looked at me and spoke, but then turned away and I saw her sigh.
She thinks I didn't hear anything. Nishtha's expressions were too obvious.

I walked up to her and lay down, then I tried to see if she'd talk to me about this.
"Who were you talking to?" I asked her.
"Umm... Aditi..." she said, clearly hesitating.
Why's she lying to me?!
Oh I don't know, Yuvaan, maybe because you yelled at her when she last spoke to Vamika.
I sighed.

Present.

What were Vamika and Nishtha hiding that day? Was there something I don't know?
Was Mom right? That there might not be stuff I don't know?! Ughhhh.

I took my phone and called Rohan, "We need to talk."
"What's up?"
"We need to find out about Nishtha."
"What about her?"
"I... I want to know what happened that day."
"Which day?"
I stayed silent.
"Oh. That day." Rohan completed, "what can we do about it? How do we start? And why did this thought suddenly come up?"
"I.... I just heard her talk to Vamika about it and something doesn't feel right. She hadn't spoken about it before, she spoke today and—"
"You realize it now that something has happened that day and you haven't seen the full story."
"I.... I don't know. I'm exploring the possibility of hearing everything, before... coming to a firm conclusion."
"Yuvaan, I'm sorry to say this, but you have come to a conclusion that day by throwing her out without even hearing her."
"Rohan. Just stop." I said, getting annoyed.
"You'll realize it. Anyway, how do we get started?"
"By talking to Vamika?"
"She won't talk, I did ask her but she never said anything."
"Bua?"
"No. I don't want to bother her. She is already troubled by Nishtha."
"I don't know. Anyway, I think we should start by reviving that day. I'll pull up all records leading to that party."
"Okay. What can I do till then?"
"Talk to Nishtha, Yuvaan. Learn to trust her and let her trust you as well so you can find out about what happened that day."
"She's not going to tell me."
"Yuvaan, the girl told you everything. You were once everything for her, and in all honestly, I still think you are everything for her, it's just hidden behind the layer of miscommunication you two have."
"Okay. Just get started with it when you can, I'll... I'll try to talk to Nishtha."
"Alright..." he said, "Yuvaan?"
"Yeah."
"She loved you enough to not just get your name tattooed on you, but enough to deal with your hatred to support something with your sister, I don't know what that is but I know she isn't a bad person... if she can love you so much, I'm sure you can as well." He said and hung up.

I stared into space.
What was happening to my head?

•~•

I got up with an arm around me. Looking behind me, I saw Nishtha's hand around me, as she was deep asleep. I smiled and turned to her, while grabbing her arm in the process so it doesn't fall.
She moved lazily in her sleep.
Checking the time, I thought to wake her up. 9am.
I slowly tapped her shoulder, "Nishtha..."
She didn't budge, so I called again, "Nishtha...wake up.... We got to go out."
She slowly got up and her eyes changed from peace to fear.... That hurt me.
"W...what are you doing here?" She asked.
"I... I was just waking you up Nishtha." I said.
"Oh. Ye...Yeah." She said, getting up.
I got up and moved a bit away, "We're going to the mountain ranges today."
She turned, "What?"
I noticed her smile in that. I knew she liked being in the nature and outdoors, maybe that's by I planned to do this. I don't know anymore.
"Yeah, We're going to walk in the mountain ranges today, and there's a temple at the top which we can visit if you want to."
"I do." She said, "when do we have to leave?"
"30 minutes." I replied.
"Okay."

I sat dressed in a plain white shirt with jeans and waited for her to come. Meanwhile, I was trying to find my old chats, my old records and all the things of 4 years ago so I can try to find out.
"We can go." I heard her voice.
I looked up and saw her in a plain, light pink chikankari kurta with jeans. She looked really good, but what looked the most appealing was her neck, specifically the mangalsutra she wore on it. I don't know why but seeing that made me feel more calm on the inside.
"Yeah. Let's go." I said, putting my phone in my pocket. She didn't talk, just followed me as I opened the door; the silence was bothering me.

We reached the group and my mood dropped seeing that irritating tour guide. Still, I ignored it and focused on whatever he was saying. Soon, we separated and started walking.

I watched Nishtha walk with me silently.
She wasn't the same woman anymore. She had become much more silent - perhaps it's the fear of being around me, or the history between us. I was the same, but after being with her for a month, I can't help but feel like this is how it's meant to be, I can't help but wonder that things might have been different. Maybe that's what I wish, because the truth was far from this. But, she had changed. She was silent. She wasn't talking or opening up to anyone about anything. I don't understand why, but I was going to know, because if there's one thing I know, it's that she gives me the confidence to fight for what I want.

"So, have you spoken to Vamika or anyone at home lately?" I asked.
I noticed her face suddenly change, "No."
She's lying, again. 
She's not going to tell you about Vamika, Yuvi.
I sighed, "Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about the way I reacted with you and Vamika. The past has given me a reason to want to keep you away from her, but, I think that she's smart enough not to get caught up in...."
I wasn't doing this right.
"In what?" She asked me, "in my tricks?"
I looked down and closed my eyes. I didn't know what to say. There's no proof she's innocent.
"In... whatever is not good for her." I replied.
She chuckled. I knew that was sarcastic.
I hated the energy between us right now.
It's so toxic and bad.
I didn't know what to do.
She isn't going to listen to a word I say and I can't say that she was right without knowing.

I sighed, "Okay. Look." I said, pulling her arm towards me and making her stop walking, "I know that things aren't great between us right now Nishtha, but... we need to try for our families because we told them things are fine."
"Yuvaan.... I tried. I've been trying so much, you're the one who hates me and wants me away. I'm tired Yuvaan."
"I.... I know, I know that I should have tried."
"Look, let's just get this trip over with, then we can see what to do."
"Why are you talking like this?!" I said, getting annoyed.
"Like what?"
"The whole 'let's get this trip over with' thing."
"Well, do you willingly want to be here?"
I didn't know how to answer that.
Did I willingly want to be here? I don't know.
But was I happy here? I was.
"Look, I know. Just.. okay we'll get this trip over with and then talk." I said and started walking.

I don't know how to talk to her. I never imagined it would be so difficult to talk to Nishtha.

✨