ᴇx-ʙᴏʏʀꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ɴᴇxᴛ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ

Chapter 52

Nishtha

"In conclusion, Data Science is the future, we have a lot of potential in the industry and with our growing technological capabilities, it's not long before we can seamlessly integrate industries with the help of our technology. Thank you very much."
Cheers and applauses erupted.
"Thank you Ms Nishtha N—"
"Ms Nishtha Yadav, Data Engineer at IBM." I completed his sentence.
I refuse to be called by his name.
"Thank you Ms Yadav. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have other questions, our speaker's name and their professional online and offline hours are mentioned in the pamphlet you've gotten, please feel free to contact them."

We got down the stage and I walked over to Pri, who had finished her conference.
"How was it?" I asked her, tying my hair.
"Tiring man."
"It's only been one day. We landed yesterday!"
"I know, but still!"
"We still have loads of places to go."
"How was your conference?"
"It was good. It.... Distracted me."
"Nishu, babe, come on."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't get back into that loop."
"No, you're very much allowed to go into that loop, it's only been 2 days since... it happened. All I'm saying is, you need to make progress. Slow progress is still progress."
I nodded and we headed out.

We were welcomed by the typical Italian weather: rain and winds. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it, but I don't have a great relationship with the rain anymore. So, I preferred to stay away from it. We got into the cab and made our way to the hotel. After being kicked out of Yuvaan's home, I ran to Priya and stayed there until we flew out the next morning. We had reached Milan that evening and I took the night to cry, and let all my emotions drain, because my work comes first. I didn't want to lose myself on stage.

"What do you wanna do in the evening?" Pri asked me.
"Nothing." I said, looking outside.
"Nishu, come on. You can't sit sulking the whole time."
"I'm not sulking, I just...."
"Nishtha, look, I know things aren't easy but in a way it's a good thing he did it just before your trip. God always takes care Nishu. You're miles away from him right now and you need to enjoy yourself right now."
"What am I going to do after I go back?"
"That's not an issue to worry about right now and I promise on the last night here, we will sit and talk about it." She smiled and I smiled back, "Now, coming back to my question, where do we go today?"
"Hmm, what about exploring Milan? I don't know any good places here."
"Alright, we'll just go with the flow!"
"Best idea." I said and held her hand.

We got down at our hotel and bid each other a goodbye, letting each other know to be downstairs by 6 so we can go explore, and then I went into my room and locked the door.

Removing my clothes and changing into simple home clothes, I felt like I was removing an external layer of skin. I was removing the external Nishtha - the one who acts unaffected by whatever is going on. The strong one.
Now, as I looked at myself, in just my shorts and a loose teeshirt, I saw the real me. Devoid of any makeup, I could see the small bags under my eyes, my eyes without any sparkle.

I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't even feel like going anywhere. In the last 2 days, I've gotten a total of 4 hours of sleep.
How could I sleep?
My heart was betraying me.
I hated that man, but he was occupying my entire thoughts. I know it's wrong. He shouldn't be in my mind, heart or anywhere after what he did and said, but.... I guess I'm used to being betrayed by almost everything.

I thought I'll work, but I got a call from Aai Baba. I spoke to them normally, because they're unaware of what has happened. I know Yuvaan won't talk to them, I'll explain everything to them after I get back.
I need to explain it to myself first.
How did he even find out about my coma?
He wasn't supposed to know that. How did he find that out? Who told him?
I had a lot of questions, which I knew I wouldn't hey that answer to, and it was okay.
Not everything is in our control.

Speaking of calling, I had switched off my personal phone and I only gave Aai Baba and Aditi the number of my professional phone. They're the only ones I want in my life right now. I knew what I needed to do once I got back: talk to my in-laws, explain them that it wasn't me, if they listen that's great, if not.... I'll be fine.

"Priya? Can I stay home today?" I said on call to her, "I'm genuinely not okay."
"I understand. Don't worry about it. Take rest. Our flight is at 7pm tomorrow, so please don't overexert yourself, okay? Please take care."
"I will, thank you. Goodnight."
I cut the call and then lay down.

Fresh tears were falling down my face.
No Nishtha, no more tears.
Why am I still in love in love with him?
Why don't I learn my lesson?!
I hated that my heart still craved him.
How much more do I need to get hurt before I bloody get my message?!
"Ugh!" I said and got up. Another day with no sleep anywhere near me. I can't sleep.

Is this how my life going to be now?

I sighed and got my laptop out. If I can't sleep, I might as well work. I opened and started to resume my search.

My search for a new home.

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