The studio was dimly lit, the air thick with tension as Seventeen gathered for their usual meeting. The stress of the upcoming comeback loomed over them, each member silently grappling with their own anxiety. Joshua sat quietly in the corner, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. While the others engaged in animated discussions, his heart raced, and his mind felt like a whirlwind.
For years, Joshua had kept a significant part of himself hidden. His little space his refuge from the harsh realities of idol life was a secret he had guarded fiercely. He had discovered it during particularly stressful times, a coping mechanism that allowed him to escape the pressures of being an idol. But as the comeback season approached, the pressure became unbearable, and he began to slip into little space more frequently, seeking comfort in the simplicity of childhood.
But now, surrounded by his members, he felt the walls closing in. As Seungcheol's voice grew louder, frustration seeping into his words, Joshua's heart sank. "We need to focus, Joshua! You're not contributing enough!"
Joshua flinched at the sharpness of Seungcheol's tone. He wanted to explain, to voice his struggles, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he sank deeper into his seat, feeling smaller and smaller. After the meeting ended, he felt the weight of disappointment and pressure crushing him.
Once alone in his room, Joshua collapsed onto his bed, the tears spilling over. The soft glow of the fairy lights around him provided little comfort. He reached for his pacifier and blanket, the familiar textures grounding him as he regressed into his little space. With the pacifier nestled between his lips and the blanket wrapped tightly around him, he allowed the tears to flow freely.
Meanwhile, Mingyu was in the living room, joking with the others, trying to keep spirits high. But something felt off. He noticed Joshua his boyfriend had been quieter than usual, and the guilt began to gnaw at him. "I'll check on him," he said, excusing himself from the group.
As he walked down the hallway, he could hear the soft, muffled sounds of Joshua's cries. Heart pounding in his chest, Mingyu opened the door slowly, his heart shattering at the sight before him. Joshua was curled up in his blanket, tears streaming down his face, the pacifier hanging limply from his mouth.
"baby..." Mingyu whispered, stepping into the room, his heart aching. He knelt beside the bed and felt his breath catch in his throat as he processed the scene before him. The pacifier, the blanket, the sheer vulnerability radiating from Joshua it was a world Mingyu had never expected to see.
"Y-you..." he stammered, his voice thick with disbelief. "I... I didn't know..."
Joshua looked up, his eyes wide with shock and fear. The moment their eyes met, the tears spilled from Joshua's eyes and he buried his face in his blanket, trying to hide from Mingyu. "Mingyu, don't look!" he cried out, his voice muffled and trembling. The weight of embarrassment crashed down on him, and he felt exposed.
"No, baby, please..." Mingyu pleaded, his heart breaking at the sight of Joshua's pain. He had never wanted to hurt him or make him feel this way. "I didn't mean to intrude. I'm sorry!"
In a panic, Joshua pressed his face deeper into his blanket, the tears flowing freely now as he sobbed quietly. "Just go... please..." he managed to say, his voice shaking.
Mingyu felt his heart drop. "I don't want to leave you alone like this!" he cried, instinctively moving closer, desperate to reach out and comfort him. "You don't have to hide from me! I care about you!"
But Joshua's cries only grew louder, and Mingyu could see that he was overwhelmed by the fear of being seen. "No... no, no!" Joshua cried, his voice choked with emotion. "I can't... I can't let you see me like this!"
