Life Happens

A Quest To Nowhere

Time was eating hear up from he inside and out.

It was exactly 2 months since Deeks decided to walk out of her life. She had just started her paternity leave. She moved in with her mom who supported her through the hard times. Every single day she left a voicemail for him to hear:
"Hey Deeks, as I said last time I just started paternity leave, and I'n super bored. I tried reading crime novels and watching crime TV-series. But it just doesn't give you the same adrenaline rush, you know. By the way you won't believe what happened today. I met a old friend of mine from way back to the time where I lived on the street. Her name is Cassie. You should think that I would forget her after 15 years, but those friends I had then, they were always there for me. Through good and evil. Easy and hard. Ups and downs. Always there."
Her eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked. She looked at the wooden floor. On it was a lone gray feather. She picked it up and felt the soft object.
"I miss you, you know. I really do. I need something to live for. I need you. If you hear this Deeks, I'm begging you, come back. Please. I can't do this alone."
Kensi held a hand in front of her own mouth, as a sob escaped her lips.
"I love you, -Fern," she finished as she slid down the wooden wall in her moms house.

Just as she was taking a deep breath her mom walked in. "Hey sweetie, I bought dessert. It's vanilla ice cream and Twinkie's!"
Kensi smiled at her moms effort to make her happy.
"Kensi have you been crying?" her mom Julia said worried, as she sat down beside her daughter and took her hand. "I know what it feels like. When I was pregnant with you, your dad was overseas on an assignment."
"But dad came back home. I'm not so sure about Deeks..." she replied.
"Don't worry honey, everything will work out just fine." She smiled at the agent, as she tugged a streak of hair from her face and put it behind her ear. "Thanks mom," she said she hugged the older woman. "Now let's eat, shall we?"

Deeks stood at a gas station in southern Utah paying the young man behind the counter. "Anything else?" the man asked. "No thanks." He went out the and into his car. He took the bottle of vodka and took a swig of it. Exactly two months ago he left his 6 months pregnant girlfriend. He just dropped off the surface of the earth. He left his home, job and girlfriend. He knew that Eric and Nell probably was looking for him. After all he just suddenly went missing. No explanation was given.
He left behind his badge, cellphone and his car, and he was traveling under an alias.
He took another sip of the alcohol in his hand. He looked out the window, at the beautiful Grand Canyon. He just passed the boarder between Arizona and Utah. Like a snail he slowly made his way towards Salt Lake City.

After a while he stopped at another gas station to use the restroom. He opened his car door and stepped out into the dry air. He looked at the torn down road. It had cracks all over it like a broken eggshell. The tall mountains stood almost protectively by the trees, granting them shelter. There was awfully quiet. Only the howling wind could be heard now and then. He took a brief step forward.
The wind was playing with the dust throwing it around. He walked over to the little building and went inside. Graffiti was drawn on all of the walls creating a big mess of colors. He looked at his reflection in the dusty mirror. I was unrecognizable. He didn't know if it was because of his recent change of looks or if it was because of who was becoming.

He ran his hands trough his soft brown hair. Then he looked into his eyes with contact lenses in. They looked like the eyes of a tiger. Yet he was so far away from being one. He wasn't brave. He was a coward. He shouldn't have let himself get so close to Kensi, he knew he was going to hurt her. He rested his hands on the dirty sink. Suddenly he noticed a little grey feather lying there all alone. He picked it up. Where did it come from? He wondered, as he picked it up and put in the bin beside him.

A while later her was ready to go and continue his quest to nowhere.