Gold Rush

confessions with a twist of truth

:* ୨୧ Gracelyn ୨୧ :*

March 15, 2005

Maybe I was making a stupid mistake showing up at Theo's house unannounced. I usually told him I was coming over because I was coming for one thing only.

But this was different.

I was going to tell him I was into him.
And not just coming over to fuck.

Declan had somehow given me the courage to get my head out of my ass and move on from Johnny Kavanagh once and for all.

Even though my feelings for Johnny were so strong they were crippling, I liked Theo. He was good and hot and kind.

He was the right choice.

I knocked on the front door of his house and mentally kicked myself for showing up like this. When the door swung open and a brunette girl opened the door I froze.

I'm meeting the family.

"Hi," She smiled.

"Hi," I forced a smile, "I'm Grace, a friend of Theo's. Is he home?"

She looked over her shoulder and then back to me, "Yeah, he is. Come on in."

I followed her into the kitchen and awkwardly looked around. Another brunette girl was seated at the table and she gave me a wave. I was only here for Theo, not to socialize with his sisters.

"I'm Mia," The one that answered the door nodded, "Want something to drink?"

"Oh no, I'm okay," I shrugged.

"I'm Ivory," The other one smiled, "You're Grace, Theo's not girlfriend?"

Oh, so he's talked about me.
I couldn't tell if I liked that or hated it. I'd never liked someone enough—aside from Johnny—to want them to talk to their family about me.

"Yeah," I nodded, "That's me. Is he in his room?"

"Yup," Ivory replied.

"Okay," I took a few steps towards the doorway, "It was nice meeting you both."

I then practically sprinted upstairs and into Theo's room.

And thankfully I didn't knock because he was fresh out of the shower, dressed in only jocks.

"Hey, Grace," He smiled, "I didn't know you were coming over."

"Yeah," I practically drooled over him, "I wanted to see you."

I was never one for words. In fact, I did everything to avoid being serious, but here I was trying to tell him I liked him.

Even though my heart was screaming at me to run away and go back to Johnny.
But I couldn't.

He didn't want me.
He never would.

"Oh yeah?" Theo hummed, pulling on a pair of grey sweats—aka fuck me pants, "What'd you want to see me about?"

"I just-" I paused to inhale a deep breath, "I think I like you."

He froze before locking eyes with me, "You think you like me?"

I'm such a fucking weirdo.

"I do like you," I smiled, "I just wanted you to know, it's not about the sex anymore."

A huge smile pulled at his lips and he placed his hands on my hips, "Well shit, Grace, because I like you too."

I smiled in return.
A genuine smile but my heart felt devastated.

What about Johnny?
What about Johnny?
What about Johnny?

I was losing my fucking mind, because that boy was all I could think about.

"If you like me, you should kiss me," I teased, pulling on the waistband of his pants to bring him closer.

"God, you're going to kill me," He groaned, before pressing his lips to mine.

Theo was an excellent kisser—he was honestly excellent at everything—but he wasn't Johnny. Although I'd never kissed Johnny, I just knew it would fucking amazing.

"So, I can finally take you on a date?" Theo smiled.

"Yeah," I nodded, "You definitely can."

I was already envisioning going to Biddies  and running into Johnny in an attempt to make him jealous. It was fucked up of me and I knew it but I couldn't get my heart—or my brain—to stop.

It was like Johnny was etched into every fiber of my being.

And that just made me furious.

"I met your sisters," I informed him, dropping onto his bed.

"I bet they'll be teasing me for months," He sighed, grabbing a shirt to throw on.

"You could never wear a shirt and I'd be a happy girl."

"No shirt it is," He winked, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

And I couldn't help but feel my heart ache.
That's what was so wrong with me. My heart should be swelling when all it was doing was breaking.

Because as much as I liked Theo.
I loved Johnny.

And I couldn't make it stop.

I was terrified it might never stop.

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okay quick update because i'm on a trip rn!!

i missed you guys and them

i love you

xoxo

-Freyja