"𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄'𝙢 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙣."
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The story of a teenage girl, navigating the ways of college life and adulthood, while trying to keep ahold of her...
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HOUSTON, TX
I could feel my breathing catch in my throat, and the room beginning to spin. I had managed to avoid her so far, but then she dared to show up at my home. I couldn't bear to face her, which was odd, considering in all the years of my life I had never resented my mother. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I could see Brianna approaching me from behind, her small frame blurry but distinct.
She was asking me to communicate why I had suddenly grown so upset, which I respected considering the recent events that had transpired. I looked at her, her soft eyes and sweet voice calming me just enough to say what was wrong. Brianna seemed just as shocked as me to hear the unexpected news, her eyes widening in disbelief.
"Oh no," she said in disbelief as she turned me to face her, "Talk, I'll fix you up." I had been so caught off guard that I didn't care how indecent I looked as I stared into that mirror, but she did, she always did. I sighed as my back hit the edge of the bathroom counter once I'd turned around, Brianna going to get her makeup box and hair products.
"There's nothing to say," I responded, the girl placing her materials on the counter and picking out makeup products she brought for me, for situations like such, "I just don't want to speak or see her ever again."
"You don't mean that," Brianna said, patting away at my neck with some liquid substance, attempting to cover the love marks on my neck. I sucked my teeth, hating how she knew me so well, but my stubbornness and bitterness wouldn't allow the truth. "I'm so serious," I said, looking down at her just for her to lift my chin again, "If we never spoke again I'd be grateful. Ecstatic even."
Brianna took in a deep breath as she sat down the makeup sponge, looking at me as she exhaled. "You don't get exhausted?" She asked me suddenly, "Carrying that much hate and resentment, my love? It has to be exhausting. Especially for someone you love."
"What does love matter?" I asked, turning away from the girl and facing the mirror to look at my neck, "Why do I have to forgive her? Why do I always have to forgive? Why can't I just be angry, mad, and spiteful? Why can't I just hate the both of them for what they've done?"
Brianna looked at me, that pitiful sympathetic expression on her face, indicating that she didn't know what to say in response, so instead she just let me vent as she added more products to the base of my neck. "I know you want me to forgive her, hell, I want to forgive her," I said as I turned to face her, my voice shaky as I edged the brink of tears, "But, I didn't do anything wrong, so I don't under why! Why do I have to bend over backward for my parents to be good fucking parents to me? Am I that bad? Am I that bad that no one, not even my own parents, is willing to just do right by me?"
Brianna set aside the makeup brush, taking ahold of my hand and looking me into my eyes. "You aren't the problem, Kook," Brianna said to me, attempting to ease my conscience, "It's not your fault. What they did to you? That's not your fault."
