THE INTERLUDE. | jjk

CHAPTER EIGHT!

HOUSTON, TX

Once I arrived at Gretchen's apartment, I could see her come to the door through her opened blinds. She pulled her braids out of the low ponytail before opening the door, with squinted eyes as my car headlights shined onto her. I could barely see her through my teary eyes, but I could make out the sympathetic frown on her face. I sighed as I turned off my car, and opened the car door before getting out. I could feel my throat swell just at the thought of the entire situation with Myra, my head rushing through every encounter we had as I neared Gretchen. My heart pinged at the sight of the woman, knowing that I came here for one thing, but mentally my mind was elsewhere. I looked down at her, and I felt disgusted with myself. All I could think was that this exact scenario was what Myra was talking about. I use women for my own pleasure without any regard for them, and it's a crappy thing for me to do, especially because I love women. I was raised right, so I have no idea why I acted this way other than my selfishness.

"Jungkook?" Gretchen uttered, her hand coming to my cheek as her thumb traced over my wet cheek. She was so kind and polite with every gesture and touch. She probably had a busy schedule, but she was still making time for me. Everyone always made time for me. "Baby, what is wrong?" I felt my eyes water again and my lip quiver, so quickly I just looked down, fiddling with the bracelet on my wrist. It was a permanent gold-plated bangle that Brianna and I had bought last year before I left for school, though it was fake, it was non-tarnish, so I never took it off. It was a reminder that no matter where we were, we always had something of one another, and in this moment, I wished it would just rust and fall apart. I didn't deserve it. I felt Gretchen raise my face to look at her, my puffy red eyes staring back into her deep, soft hazel orbs.

"Come on," she said kindly, moving her hand down to mine and guiding me inside. I felt the warmth of her vanilla-scented home touch my skin, and immediately I felt my body breaking down. I just allowed the tears to fall, sniffling quietly as she pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, hearing her softly coo at me as she rubbed the nape of my neck. "It's okay, I got you," she said kindly, allowing me to just melt into her embrace. "Jungkook, I want to help you, but you have to tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you this way."

I sniffled a few more times before pulling away, seeing as my tears had dampened the top of her robe, but she didn't care. Instead, she just held my hands and looked me in my eyes genuinely. I didn't deserve the comfort, especially from her. She was being so kind, and I intended to come here and use her as an escape, but she was being so nurturing and polite to me. "Stop," I managed to utter as she caressed the roof of my hand with her thumb. She just shook her head no and continued before speaking. "No, not until you tell me what is wrong."

I sighed before finally allowing myself to calm down, or at least calm down enough to speak in full sentences. "Gretch be honest, okay?" I asked her, feeling the knot in my throat slowly loosen up at the reassurance in her eyes as she nodded at me to continue. I adjusted my view from her eyes to my feet, guilt and shame eating me alive. "Do you think I'm a bad person?"