Just Friends: The Sequel.

Chapter Twenty Two.

Chapter Twenty Two. 

JUSTIN: 

            When the door closed to her room I could tell she was nervous. She was doing that thing where she couldn't stand still. Instead of turning around to look at me, she was picking up things in her room she forgot to put back until she finally took out clothes from her dresser drawer and cleared her throat.

"So I'm going to take a shower." She said. "I'll uh, be back in a few minutes, okay?"

"Sure." I replied, sending her a small smile. "Do you have a charger I can use? I forgot to bring one."

"Yeah, of course. It's in the nightstand."

The door closed behind her just as I opened up the drawer to get what I needed. A charger isn't what I found though. Instead, I saw a letter. It wasn't addressed to me but it was addressed to my rehab center. The one I had stayed at while we were apart. Nothing was even registering with me right now except the black ink staring back at me.

Quickly taking the envelope out of the drawer, I ripped it open with my shaking fingers and glanced at the door to make sure she wasn't there. Was I nervous about what was inside? Extremely. I had no idea what I was about to read.

Justin,

So I think this is probably the twentieth time I've tried to sit down and write something. Every time I do I just end up writing stupid things down that don't just cut right to the point so I think that's what I'm going to do in this one.

I know you're probably confused. I would be confused too if I were you but I just want to let you know that we aren't over. At least to me we aren't. I never wanted to end things with you and that night I left was the worst mistake I've ever made. At times I try to think about what I could have done or said differently but when I heard that you were in rehab I didn't really regret what I did. You're getting better Justin and that's what matters the most to me.

I visited you in the hospital. Nobody was there but I did. You weren't conscious from all the blood you lost but I was there and I don't want you to think I wasn't. I've just been debating on how to tell you but when I saw you there I didn't want to re-visit because what's the point in that? I did that to you. I made you like that and I've never regretted anything more in my entire life. I wish I were the thing you needed to make you happy. I wish I were your saving grace and not the thing that destroys you. If I could be that for you then that would be the most amazing thing but unfortunately I'm not that person. As I sat there all night by your bedside I realized that I need to be away from you in order for you to heal.

You are the most important thing I have even though I think I may have already lost you. If you get out of rehab and those doctors convince you that I'm what you need to get rid of in order to get better then that's exactly what you need to do. That doesn't mean I won't hurt and that doesn't mean that I won't ever be the same again. What it means is that your health and your well-being means more to me than my own feelings. This sounds so stupid right now but I'm just writing what I'm thinking. It's only been a week since you've been gone yet here I am sobbing as I write this letter. I'm not even sure if I'll send this because what if you don't want to read it? What if you're so mad at me for leaving that you'd just rip this up? That'll kill me. I hope you don't. I hope you read this.