Just Friends: The Sequel.

Part II: Chapter Nine

Another month has passed and still nothing has changed. I'm drowning in liquor every chance I get, whether it be in the morning or at night. The time varies depending on when the thoughts of her stab me in the chest like a knife. I'm drunk right now, but I feel like I'm at my lowest point. We used to talk at least once a week, but with Carter in the picture I'm lucky to get a text once a month, so I've been unbearably alone lately. If it weren't for Ramsey I don't really think I'd be alive right now. Scott influenced me to get her number at the party that night, so I did. There's nothing going on between us, because I would mentally lose it just thinking about another relationship, but she's easy to talk to. Ramsey's become one of my good friends.

I'm trying to walk straight, but I can tell that I'm crooked because liquor from the bottle is splashing onto the sidewalk. I'm in this rich neighborhood that Carter lives in. At our lunch last month, Reina told me that she'd be spending more time with him at his house, and that she'd more than likely move in. I had dropped her off here after that day, and the thought of her being in his arms makes me sick. I don't know who he is, I don't know what he looks like, but I know that she doesn't belong with him.

Ramsey keeps blowing up my phone telling me not to do this, but I'm ignoring her. I need to do this. Because if I don't, and I decide to turn around, I'm always going to wonder what if. I'm always going to wonder if I had said something, would things have turned out differently? I need to make a last stitch effort at saving things. I'm going to tell her how I feel.

Carter's driveway is long, and his house is all too big for just she and him to live in. I'm jealous that he can give her this huge mansion, and all I'm able to give her is my heart. Knowing Reina he's already given his heart up to her, though. Anyone would.

Setting the bottle down onto the grass, I steady myself on the steps before I knock on the heavy door. It has this gold little knocker on it, which pisses me off. Maybe it's just because it's Carter's, I don't know. When Reina opens it her eyebrows furrow together when she realizes that it's me. Her hair is up in this high bun, no makeup on, with a pair of grey sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt. I'm assuming they're his, and immediately the bile rises into my throat. I regret coming here, turn around, and throw up all over the stairs. The two bottles of vodka come up right onto this pavement, and all I can do is sink to my knees and begin to cry.

"Oh my god." Reina sighs, gripping me by my shoulders. "Justin, what are you doing? Have you been drinking?"

I'm too heavy for her, so instead I just look up at her and I can tell I look broken. I feel lifeless, like I've ran out of options. She doesn't want to hear me fight for her. She doesn't give a fuck about me whatsoever. I've become a guy from her past who is obsessed with her. That's what I've become. Now I'm the guy that just threw up on her boyfriends porch steps. Great.

"W-What is it going to take?" I slur, trying to control my breathing from the crying. "Why don't you want me?"

"We've been over this." She sighs. "Justin I don't want to see you cry, but I told you that I've moved on. You wanted the girl who could remember, she's not me. I'm different now."

"I can try though." I plead, grasping onto her hands without permission. "Please, Reina. Please give me a shot. I'll try harder. I won't say anything about our past, okay? But you can't leave my life, dammit. You can't. I can tell that you're pulling away and you just can't. I'll end up cutting again and I can't, Reina. Do you want me to try to kill myself again? Is that what you want? For me to kill myself?"

I can't possibly cry any harder, all I can do is bury my face into my hands and sob. She's not saying anything, and when I look up at her she's staring at me with a dumb-founded expression, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. I know that I shouldn't have pulled that card, because nobody should have to feel that pressure, but I guess it didn't make her mad because she sits beside me on the step finally. Her leg is pressed against mine, the only physically contact I've had with her in months.

"God," she sighs, wiping a tear off her cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't know what to do." I sob. "I go to bed at night and think of you. I wake up in the morning and think of you. I don't want to be going through this. I don't want my heart to feel like it isn't there. I don't want to be sick to my stomach at the thought of falling for someone else other than you. I love you, Reina. Fuck. I was going to propose to you on that vacation we were going to take before the accident. I was going to make you my wife. And now look where we're at. How the fuck did we get here?"

"I don't know." She sniffles, wiping away more tears. I'm surprised she's crying, because normally she doesn't. "Don't do anything stupid though, okay? I need you here."

"You need me here? Since when? You haven't spoken to me at all this month. You're too wrapped up in Carter."

"I'll make time." She says, catching me off guard. "I'll make time for you, alright? I promise. Just please don't do anything stupid."

Before I can reply, Carter appears in the doorway and eyes the vomit, wrinkling his nose up in disgust. "Another frat boy?" He chuckles, his arm going around her waist once she stands up. I want to punch him square in the jaw, but instead I just let Reina do the talking.

"No..." She trails off. "This is my friend Justin. He's had a little bit too much to drink tonight as you can see, so I told him to sleep here. I hope that's okay."

He eyes me skeptically but eventually sighs in defeat, placing a little kiss onto her cheek. "Okay," he says and looks at me. "You can take the couch. I'm Carter by the way." Now his hand is reaching out to shake mine, and I grab it with as much force as I can muster up. I hate this guy, and I really don't want to stay here. For whatever reason Reina wants me to though, so I'm not going to question it.

"Justin," I say. "Nice to meet you."

When I step inside I realize I that the inside of the house is nicer than the outside, which I didn't think could be possible. There's a big black wraparound couch, which looks comfortable as fuck, and there's a huge plasma screen TV above a fireplace. I'm not expecting a house tour, so I just grab a pillow and blanket that Reina brings down from upstairs and head over towards the couch. My stomach is still twisting up, either from the alcohol or from the jealousy of Carter. I can't tell which.

"I'll be up in a couple of minutes." She whispers to Carter. When he disappears she helps me lay down and puts the blanket on top of me.

"Nice guy." I mutter. "Glad you ended up with a decent one at least."

"He is nice." She agrees. "You feel sick still?"

I meekly nod my head and before I know it she leaves and then returns with a tiny trash can, placing it onto the floor beside the couch. She's standing there awkwardly now, unsure of what to do before she heads over to the closet and pulls out another pillow and blanket.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

She lays down onto the couch, pulling the blanket over her and resting her head onto the pillow. "Making sure you don't do something stupid." she finally replies.

"What about Carter? Shouldn't you tell him?"

"He'll understand..." she mumbles, her voice trailing off sleepily. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid?"

The room is pitch black after she shut the light off, and I wish she could see the expression on my face right now. Why is she acting like she gives a fuck about me now? I suppose anyone would be worried about someone who just said minutes ago that they were thinking of killing themselves, but still. I haven't had this long of a conversation with her in forever it seems like.

"Promise." I whisper. "Goodnight Reina."

A/N:
Sorry if the formatting is off! I had to type this chapter on my phone, which was a total pain in the ass to do. But I thought you guys should have an update!!
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