MOVE ON / FREENBECKY

24

FREEN POV

3 weeks later

"Becky signed them Freen, she's a state right now" Lingling says, she went with my brother who's a lawyer, hence why the divorce managed to go through so quickly.

I nodded as I look around my room, trying to contain my tears I think it's worse because I can see lingling looking at me as if she knows I'm hiding how broken I am.

"Make sure she's taken care of by Orm and the others" i say

"I can't get it through my head why would you divorce her freen? You loved her so much, like I've never seen a love like both of yours, every time you looked at her I saw your eyes shine"

"Ling that's enough, Becky is in the past now okay" I fight through tears and finish packing my side bag as I'm flying out tomorrow and apparently ling too.

"So where are we staying in New Zealand?"

"My cousin bought me an apartment down there, your only staying for a week then your going back" I firmly say to her

"I'll come back when you come back?" She smiles at me annoyingly knowing she won't let me be alone

I huff as I get in bed, she comes in behind me and hugs me from the back

"Roomies for life" she whispers excitedly

Little does she know she isn't in for a treat at all.

I close my eyes as I just feel broken for what I've done to Becky, I bet she hates me, I couldn't help but silently cry making sure lingling doesn't hear me.

I go through my camera roll and all I did was watch videos silently of Becky and I in bed laughing and messing around "I'm so sorry" i mouth to her even though I know she won't hear me.

I wish I could tell her but I know how much Becky loves me and this is me protecting her, after multiple check ups from different doctors and being told that I won't survive from so many of them I was terrified. Becky would go insane knowing I died, she wouldn't ever be able to live life again and I know that.

This is me showing her my love, by protecting her, allowing her to live her life and move on from me, she tried to fight for us but I didn't give her the chance to I blocked her number from every platform.

It was already hard living without her.

Once we landed in New Zealand we get to the apartment and everything just hit me, it felt so real, I divorced Becky, I'm going to die soon, I couldn't even engage in any conversations with lingling, she spoke the whole plane journey and I responded occasionally but lingling talks a lot anyways.

"What did you tell Orm?" I ask her

"I told her I'm going New Zealand with Freen for a while and that we'll be back in 2 weeks"

"We? Who is we? You are going back, I'll come back when I want to" I shake my head

"I can't live without Orm Freen" she sighs "I can't leave you here alone it's so lonely here, you don't even have neighbours" she says

"Lingling that's what I want, you can visit me here whenever you want but I'm a grown ass woman I don't need supervision, I love you and I appreciate you a lot but you do understand that if I want to be alone for a while it's okay? I'm not upset I know you are worried but nothings going to happen to me" I say to her even though it was a lie

"Okay I don't understand it but whatever" she says as she starts unloading her suitcase.

"Listen I'm going to see some childhood friends tomorrow early in the morning so you'll be okay alone right it will be for a little while?"

"Why can't I come with you?"

"Because they sniff crack and stuff and you are terrified of that" I say to her, I see her eyes widen with shock

"Are you going to sniff crack with them?" Lingling asks me

"No I won't, I'm just going to see them alright just for a little while I'll probably be back before you wake up anyways because you can sleep for ages" I say to her with a dramatic effect

"Yeah and plus I had horrible sleep in the plane"

"Yeah I mean you didn't shut up the whole way what did you expect" i chuckle

"Bitch your life would be so boring without me" Lingling rolls her eyes

"I know I love you, thanks so much ling I really appreciate everything you do for me" I say before I grab her face and peck her on the cheeks.

"Yeah well how do you expect me to be okay you divorced the love of your life and then you don't expect me to check up on you? you are my second love after Orm ofcourse"

"Well your my first & im sorry for always being angry at you, but you can be a real pain in my ass and you are actually the child I didn't ask for"

"Yeah well you're my hot mummy so your stuck with me your whole life darling" Ling  giggles which makes me laugh

I could always rely on her to make me happy when I feel like my world is falling apart and maybe I'm too harsh
on her but I don't deserve someone like her and I can't believe I landed myself such a loving best friend.

She's been my best friend since Nursery (kindergarten) and since then we haven't separated.

I go into bed nervous about my appointment tomorrow