SIMPHIWE: HER LAST

Chapter 4

SIMPHIWE

The sounds of knuckles knocking on my door was what woke me up. Surprisingly Nkanyezi is still sleeping at this time.

"Simphiwe." It's the voice of my mother.

Simphiwe: "You can come in." I say, trying not to wake my daughter up.

She enters my room and gets on my bed. She looks rather concerned.

Simphiwe: "What is it, Ma? Did something wrong happen?"

Mama: "No, mfana wam. Uhm... I heard you cry again."

Oh yeah. That.

After what Bonolo said to me last night, those memories flooded again and it caused me to cry.
Look, call me a weakling, ithi ngiyatefa, call me a crybaby all you like, I don't care. I've realised that I cannot hide my emotions. Yes, as a teenager and as of recent years, I used to do that a lot, but bottling up my emotions only led to anger and God showed me that it was okay to show signs of what you like to call weakness.
So yes, I cried. I cried myself to sleep after the memories came flooding in. The good and awful memories.

Simphiwe: "Yah." I confirm.

Mama: "Mfana wam, but have you at least considered going to therapy? You know crying is sometimes not good."

Simphiwe: "Ma, I'm fine."

Mama: "No, you are not. Everyone can see that. You haven't been okay these past few months. You need to seek help."

Simphiwe: "Ma, I can confide in God. I'm fine." I sternly say.

I really don't want to defend myself. I just woke up and what I need is breakfast, not an argument about my emotional well-being.

She stops and sighs.

Mama: "Fine. Fine." The tone just sounds like she's saying that for the sake of us not fighting. "Look, Zothile and I will be in Greytown for a few days. We're also going with Zinhle, Zanele and Bonolo so you'll be stuck here with Velephi noAyanda, okay?"

Simphiwe: "Why?" I ask out of curiosity.

Mama: "There's a function kwaMnisi so..."

Simphiwe: "But I'm your son." I try to say playfully.

Mama: "Yah, but I'm a Mnisi and you're not." She says matching the energy.

I chuckle.

Simphiwe: "What, is it strictly boMnisi?"

Mama: "Yep."

Simphiwe: "Hayi, okay. As long as I've got one of the coolest aunts in the world, I'm fine."

Mama: "Hawu, I thought Thobile was your cool aunt?"

Simphiwe: "Yes, I love Aunty Lydia, but Aunty Velephi is cool. Like, even Bonolo knows that."

She laughs.

Mama: "Haike. As long as you're gonna be okay."

Simphiwe: "Ma, you do understand that I'm a 28-year-old man and I know how to live on my own, right?"

No, because the realisation had just kicked in that she's informing me about things like she usually used to do in the mornings whenever I was here for the holidays back in my teenage years. I'm surprised she still does that today. I guess it's true when they say that old habits do die hard.

Mama: "Do you know much that statement of yours just scared me?" I frown in confusion.

Simphiwe: "Haibo. What do you mean, Ma?"