Trust Issues

Part 20

Glasgow, I was moving to Glasgow. I wouldn't have been bothered if it was another part of London but Glasgow! That's the other side of the country. I wouldn't be allowed to go back to Hope, my Dad said that he'd got me into a University that his friends own. I didn't want to go, I want to be back with Josh. There was no way I could get in contact with him now, my dad had confiscated my phone, laptop, any form of communication. I might never see Josh again. I guess it was fun while it lasted.

On the journey to Glasgow, my mum didn't say anything to me, she just sat at the front of the car as quiet as a mouse, I wouldn't have known she was there. All the way there, my Dad told me how disgusted he was with me that I'd had a boyfriend, that I could do so much better than Josh. I just sat in the back of the car nodding my head, pretending to agree when in reality I just wanted to tape his mouth shut. It was very hard not to cry, the hardest thing in the world. I realised how much I meant to my friends. To see Jaymi crying into Olly's shoulder and Josh with tears in his eyes really showed me that they would miss me. The worst part was now, I knew they would never find me. As we pulled into the service station, I opened the car door and ran into the building. Following the signs, I ran towards the toilets, locking myself in one of them and bursting into tears. I grabbed some tissue and dabbed my eyes, knowing that if my dad saw that I'd been crying then I would be in more trouble than I was before. I unlocked the door, dabbing my eyes as I walked out, bumping straight into my mum.

"Rachel" she said, pulling me in for a cuddle as she stroked my hair.

"Why mum?" I cried

"Shh, shh, shh...my poor poor little girl"

"oh Mum"

"Now now now, your father will be wondering where we are so wipe away those tears and stay strong for me?"

"I promise, thank you" I replied, hugging her tightly.

We returned back to the car, starting to drive down the motorways again.

Walking into the new house was very weird, the furniture was all in place and the colour scheme wasn't one I would exactly choose for myself. The green walls and the brown furniture made me want to be sick. I picked up my bag and plodded up the stairs, making my way along the corridor. I heard my mum and dad mumbling downstairs, sorting things out.  Kicking the door to my bedroom, I dumped my things down on the bed and unzipped my suitcase. Piling my clothes into drawers and hanging my things around my room, I finally reached the bottom of my case where I found a Starbucks napkin which had been written on by Josh. 'Mrs Rachel Cuthbert'. I giggled and stored it at the bottom of a drawer where I knew my parents would never find it. Sitting around the dinner table, my dad had a beaming smile on his face, looking very happy with himself.

"So are you looking forward to staring Kingston in September?" My dad asked

"Yes" I lied

Shoveling my dinner into my mouth, I hurried to finish it as quickly as I could. Excusing myself from the dinner table, I went to look around the house. In the room next door to my bedroom, there was a new guitar, never been played whilst it was there, I may aswell give it some use. Quietly sneaking back into my room, I pulled out my song book and started to strum a few strings on the guitar which Josh had taught me how to play. I sang along to Taylor Swift's begin again and sighed as it reminded me of Josh and how he helped me through my break up. When I had finished, a voice startled me at the door.

"That was beautiful" My mum said, stood leaning on the door post

"Th...thank you" I replied, shocked she'd been listening.

"So did Josh teach you to play?"

I nodded my head

"He taught you well, goodnight honey" she said, kissing my forehead and giggling.

I smiled and continued to play along on my guitar.

The summer was awful, I didn't know anyone and the area around Glasgow was horrible. There was no one around and everyone looked at me like I was some weird alien from a different planet. It got to the morning for me leaving for Kingston University and as a nice gesture, my father offered to take me over to the University so I didn't lose my way. I took the last section of my luggage down the stairs and  handed it to my dad. As he took it and loaded it into the car, I walked over to my mum, her sadness was clear on her face.

"I guess I'll see you around" I said, smiling

"Oh come here, I'm going to miss you" she said, grabbing me and hugging me.

Planting a kiss on my cheek, she released me from the hug and told me to hurry along with my dad. I got into the car, strapping myself in and then we started our Journey to Kingston. After a three hour journey in a car with my dad, giving me a lecture about how I shouldn't have any trouble with boys here because it was an all girls University. I just sighed and once again agreed with him, not wanting to argue. 

Slamming the car door behind me, I looked up at the old, Victorian building and the girls tottering around in their disgusting brown uniforms, their folders pressed against their chests and their noses in the air, obviously thinking they were better than everyone else. I knew as soon as I saw them that I wasn't going to fit in here. As I walked into the reception, the receptionist guided me to my room, the students giving me dirty looks and knowing that I wasn't as rich as them. I had a room to myself this time which was better in some ways as I could reflect on things and I didn't have anyone else's rules to live by. After unpacking my things, I decided to take a little trip down to the common room. Walking into the room full of old chairs and girls giggling and chatting, I felt out of place immediately. No one wanted to know me and no one bothered to speak to me. I wasn't in my uniform, I was still in my clothes that I had traveled in. My black leggings, my denim shirt and my burgundy beanie hat I stole from George.

"Who does she think she is?" a girl sniggered from behind me.

I turned to look at her.

"What you looking at, get out of my face"

"s...sorry" I replied, not knowing what to do.

"Look at her, why's she here?" whispered another

It was clear to me that I wasn't welcome here, that they didn't want me around. I've never felt so alone in a crowded room. I just took one last look around and sighed, deciding to back up to my room, back to my guitar. Sitting on my bed, my legs crossed. I sang the song I wrote for Josh when I first told him I loved him, it brought back so many memories. I thought of what they'd all be doing now at Hope, all sat in the common room, laughing and joking. Most likely forgetting about me. 

The next few weeks were terrible, I was stuck in classes on my own, no one speaking to me and the uniform was choking me. It didn't suit me and I don't think Jaymi would have been too impressed. Instead of spending my time with the other students in the common room, I spent it locked in my room with my only friend at the moment, my guitar. Walking to my English class, carrying my folders and minding my own business, I heard two girls talking about a new girl who had arrived from London today. I smiled to myself, finally maybe there'd be someone like me around here. Walking into my English lesson, I apologised for being late and noticed that the normally empty seat next to me had now been taken by a girl with short brown hair and big green eyes. I walked over to my desk, placing my folder down and giving the girl a smile. 

"I'm Rachel" I said

"I'm Zoe, pleased to meet ya!"

"So are you new to the class?"

"I'm new to the school, I moved from London"

"That's where I'm from originally"

" I didn't want too, have you seen the uniform here, it's like something my grandma would wear!"

"That's exactly what I said when I came here"

"Quiet at the back" the teacher shouted.

Looking at each other, Zoe and I laughed, putting our heads down and beginning to make notes in our folders.  I was expecting Zoe to be very posh but she sounded just like me, just like the people from back home.  From that moment on, Zoe became my best friend. We sat with each other, worked with each other and she taught me some new songs on the guitar. I still missed Jaymi, Josh, George, JJ, Lucie and Jessie though, I missed them ever so much. Maybe when we left after our end of year Prom, maybe I could find them again.