i went outside today,
just to feel the sun graze my skin,
but the weight of people's eyes
bore into me like anchors.
i smiled when spoken to,
laughed when it seemed appropriate,
but all i wanted was to retreat,
to fold myself into the familiar silence of home.
and when i got there,
i didn't find the comfort i'd imagined.
the walls whispered secrets
i couldn't quite make out,
the ceiling loomed low,
and the shadows stretched too long.
i laid in my bed, unmoving,
and the weight of my own breath
felt like drowning.
i talked to the walls today,
told them things i couldn't tell anyone else.
the cracks in the paint seemed to listen,
their stillness kinder than human ears.
i spoke to the empty room,
to the vast and indifferent universe,
waiting for something,
anything,
to answer back.
there was a time when i whispered
to something higher than myself,
but my words fell like stones,
sinking into a sea of nothing.
they told me there was comfort there,
but i never felt it.
so now, i lie with my thoughts,
sharp-edged and endless,
circling me like vultures.
i've built a fortress of solitude,
not for safety, but for habit,
each brick a moment of turning away,
each window shuttered
against the possibility of connection.
yet, it's cold here.
so cold.
i went outside today,
just to see if i could.
but now i'm home again,
and the silence feels louder
than any crowd ever could.
YOU ARE READING
poems
Poetrypoems i've written. i recommend reading from the bottom of the parts and working up to the first one. i promise they get better and more lengthy. the first few poems are rhyme schemes, the rest are free verse peoms. please don't take without credits...
