tw: mention of suicide attempt, pills.
i wasn't supposed to make it this far.
the calendar flipped against my will,
dragging me through another cycle of hours
that bleed together like ink spilled
on a letter i never meant to write.
i wasn't supposed to make it here
this wasn't part of the plan,
if there even was a plan.
the days are a smear,
grey on grey on grey,
and i can't remember the last time i felt clean.
weeks in the same clothes,
weeks without washing my hair—
just a shell wearing a body,
too weak to carry even itself.
i tried to leave two nights ago.
eighteen pills and a whisper of goodbyes—
i love you, i love you, i love you,
but not enough to stay.
it should've been the end.
but instead, i woke up.
still here,
still unwanted,
still being dragged into another year
i never asked for.
2025 looms like a punishment,
not a gift.
the future is a ghost,
unreal,
uncaring,
and i don't want it.
i don't want it.
all i feel is the weight of survival—
a thing i never asked for,
a thing i don't know what to do with.
this year already feels like forever,
and i am so tired of forever.
YOU ARE READING
poems
Poesíapoems i've written. i recommend reading from the bottom of the parts and working up to the first one. i promise they get better and more lengthy. the first few poems are rhyme schemes, the rest are free verse peoms. please don't take without credits...
