Percabeth Dirty One Shots and Drabbles

Playing With The Queen Of Hearts

By GeminiVegretarianess on ao3 

"And you didn't go on a second date with this guy Ethan because...?" Thalia asked her friend Annabeth.

"Yeah I thought you said he quote 'did everything right.' He got you flowers, opened all the doors, asked you a bunch of questions, told funny stories... What was wrong with him?" Reyna added.

"Didn't he take you to a bookstore too? That's an objectively cute first date, I don't know why you're not seeing him again," Zoe continued.

"There wasn't really anything 'wrong' with him, I just wasn't interested in going on a second date," Annabeth replied.

"Oh puh-lease, Annabeth, you literally always do this. Have you ever been on a second date in your life?" Thalia questioned.

"Okay I do not 'Literally always do this'"

"Yes you do!" They all complained.

"Name one time you've been on a second date," Thalia said. "I'll wait."

Annabeth had to think for a moment. Okay so what? She went on tons of first dates and basically zero second dates, who even cares? Her friends, apparently.
"Well... Luke counts..."

"No, your boyfriend of three months when you were 15 does not count, missy," Reyna chided, "I think Thalia is right; You've never been on a second date in your entire adult life!"

"Okay one, you say that like it's a bad thing, and two, you guys talk about me like I'm geriatric- it is perfectly normal for 24 year olds to date around," Annabeth reasoned.

"Yeah but you do get that most people go on dates for the purpose of seeking a long-term partner, right?"

"Hey, I do not come to lesbian chess club to be bullied for my dating preferences," Annabeth said, "It's really not a bad thing that I have high standards... most guys happen to be really terrible people and I refuse to settle for less."

"I love how we've all literally sworn off men- and you're still a bigger misandrist,man-hater than us," Annabeth's three friends laughed. "It's not too late to join our te-aammm," Thalia added in a sing-songy voice.

"As much as I think that the three of you, and any woman for that matter, are more beautiful, smart, and empathetic than any man, I unfortunately cannot help my heterosexuality," Her friends continued to laugh. "Alsoooo I don't see any of you guys offering up attractive, decent, available men to be my next victim. So you guys can't say shit."

Finally her friends quieted down. Ha. She had stumped them. Of course three lesbians didn't have an extensive roster of men that could be compatible with Annabeth. Conversation about her possible attachment issues? Over and deflected.

Thalia sipped her coffee and pondered. "Well actually..." she prolonged her thoughts by taking another long, obnoxious sip. "My cousin, Percy is gonna be in town next week and the more I think about it, the more I think you guys would get along great."

"I get along great with lots of people-" she side eyed her friends, "-men included. The problem is romantic and sexual chemistry." Annabeth deflected yet again.

"Yeah-No, the more I think about it the more I wanna set you up with Percy," Thalia said, "He's a good-looking guy, he's smart, but not in a pretentious, mansplain-y way, and, even though he's my dumb cousin, he's actually really sweet. Please Annabeth, you should really give him a shot."

"Okay if he's so great, then why am I just now hearing about him? We've been friends for years, there must be something wrong with him for you to not mention him until now."

"He'd been in a relationship and hadn't been available until like, 2 months ago. That's why."

"Ohhhh so that's the catch"