For better or for worse.

Chapter 19

I sat there alone. I had spent the last two hours of my life cleaning cuts of someone who I now know, means the world to me. All because of someone who I thought loved me, and I loved. After maybe witnessing one of the most horrific things I had ever seen in my life, I now sat here alone, in this abandoned diner, thinking, well not even thinking, just breathing, hardly. When something like this happens, what are you supposed to do. How are you meant to process it or even deal with a situation like this. I only have ne answer, you can't.

Connor took Luke back to my place, I'll check on him later, I just really wanted to be alone right now. just to process everything I feel. Which might be a while, I literally numb right now. Someone could probably stab me in the back, and I probably wouldn't even realise until I was bleeding out on the floor. I'll check on Luke later, I know Connor will take care of him, so will Calum and Michael, there good friends of Luke's. To be honest right now I'm glad my mom and Dad aren't not coming back until tomorrow night, because I don't know what I would've told her, our house is practically an emergency hospital for jocks right now, and I just couldn't deal with seeing her right now. I'd probably just break down and hug my mom all night, and I really don't need that right now. I don't remember the last time I cried before today, I thought I was stronger than that. But I feel as thought as soon as I see Luke's face again, I'm just gonna break down.

Right now I'm just sitting in this abandoned diner, with no one in it but a red haired waitress and an old couple sitting in the corner.

That is until I heard I heard the small bell above the door ring. I didn't want to look round, I couldn't. That is until I heard the familiar sound of black boots on the tiled floor, and the familiar smell of hugo boss aftershave. I didn't have to look to know who it was. My thoughts where confirmed by the obvious sound of his aussie accent. Honestly, I really didn't want to see him right now. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

I don't know why, but a single tear rolled down my cheek, perhaps subconsciously I really needed to cry. I didn't know what to say to him. What do you say to someone who was a part of what you just witnessed, I sire as hell don't know.

As soon as I heard that timid aussie accent ring through my ears, another tear rolled painfully down my cheek.

"Hi." The raspy, pathetic, lost boy standing to the side of me spoke. As soon as I heard that voice, another tear came down my pale cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

"You know this is where we met." I concluded to say. That's all I could think of right now. I remember it was sophomore year, and I had never spoken to Ashton before. Sure I had seen him around school a lot, but I had never actually spoken to him. Yet I can remember every single moment of that day. I hated Ashton so much. He was such an asshole.

"Yeah I remember." His timid voice echoed. He was treading on egg shells around me. I didn't have the energy to even fight with him at the minute. I just stared at the ticking clock above the menu plastered on the wall of the café, waiting for time to pass by. I couldn't look at him, I would break down. I don't want to do that.

"I was sitting right here..." I began to speak, words were flowing out of me and I don't even know where they were coming from. I sure as hell wasn't processing any of it. "...and you asked me if the seat next to me was taken." I never dared to rip my eyes away from the clock in front of me. "They were the first words you even spoke to me." I stopped for a moment to laugh at the memory we both shared together. It wasn't a happy laugh though. It was lost and hollow.

"I remember." He spoke. That lost voice was back. "I was such an asshole to you back then." He continued.

"You still are." I said turning only my head towards him, uncovering my red, puffy eyes. His eyebrows arched up, making him look like he was pain. I must've had been crying more than I wanted to let on.

"Sam." He spoke softly, his hand reached out and carefully took hold of my arm. He can't do that. I pulled my arm away from his grip immediately. Three more tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No." I said harshly, he pulled his hand away, allowing it to fall down to his side. "You can't." I said, trying to remain composed. There was a few moments of silence, before he spoke again.

"Please." He whispered. My head dropped down so my eyes were in my lap. More tear, what is wrong with me?!

"You can't." I repeated. He can't.

I had to leave. I went to push my self up from my table, his firm but gentle hand grabbing my own. His warm touch kept me there for a moment, but then Luke's broken face flashed in the back of my mind, forcing me to pull away, and leave the diner. 

I pushed my way out of the diner, and headed towards my car. Uncontrollable tears now flowing down my cheeks, just from one touch, he could control me. I heard the diner door being opened again a few moments later and heavy boots running after me.

"Sam!" I heard him call. Keep walking Sam, don't look back. "Sam." I felt two large hands grab my shoulder and turn me around.

"What!" I shouted. But I was cut off by a pair of lips crashing into my own. For a moment or two, the entire world froze. Everything moved in slow motion, my mind went numb, my heart beat three times as fast in my chest. I remembered how our lips moulded perfectly together in one defined moment everything changed,  my world was turned upside down, spun in circles, flipped in rotation to was felt normal. Numb.

I pulled away slowly, no longer knowing how to function. His hands were still gently placed on the sides of my face. He looked deeply into my tearfilled eyes. All I wanted to do was run away with him, never come back, live a long happy life together. But the world less than three hours ago ripped that dream away from me, and had no intention of returning it to me as long as it got it's way.

"I have to go." Was all I could say, I got in my car, and drove away, leaving Ashton alone at the place we both first met. I had to leave. I couldn't stay in this place anymore, everything reminded me of Ashton, and every person had some kind of connection to him.

I had to leave... Just drive Sam. Just drive.