For better or for worse.

Chapter 21

When your mind processes a million things all at once, you have to decide which one to listen to.

I have a best friend named Connor, a brother called Aaron, a mother called Andrea, a father called Paul, two amazing friends called Calum and Michael, a complicated relationship with someone who I dearly want to be my friend by the name of Luke... and someone who I cared, well care about deeply and fear I may be falling in love with, but who has recently let me down by harming someone very close to me, with an act of illegitimate retribution, his name is Ashton Irwin.

Now I know everyone may be thinking, so what they got in a fight, they'll get over it. But I won't. there is something that has been going through my mind for the past 17 hours of my life that I cannot shake. Repeating it over and over and over again until my brain hurts.

Last year around this time, I had a boyfriend called Daniel, he was older 19 when I was 16, he didn't go to my school and lived about 20 minutes away from me, we could both drive so it wasn't a problem, we were together for about 7 months before it happened. When I met some of his friends, there was this one guy called Ian who I got on really well with from the beginning, who live in the state but lived in Colorado, he was best friends with Daniel so they'd try and see each other as much as possible, they had both left school and so would travel back and forth to see each other. Ian trips became more frequent , we would spend almost all our time together, which started to anger Daniel, and bring out his true self, which wasn't someone I had any feeling towards.

Daniel became possessive, controlling, forbidding me to see Ian whenever he was in town, only making me want to see him more. Daniel hit me once because I saw Ian whilst he was in town, until it became a more frequent thing, and I would go to school with cut lips and bruises having to lie to every single person I cared about, including Connor. I went to Ian for help, as he was the only one who knew the truth, I couldn't leave Daniel, I was 16 and scared, he had warned me that if I left him he would hurt the people  cared about most, which included Ian who was meant to be his best friend. I an spent every day with me, picking me up from school, dropping me off, he stayed at a motel across the park from where I lived, he went everywhere with me, protecting me from Daniel.

Until he snapped, Daniel found out what I was doing and snapped, that's the only word I could use to describe it.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

*Flash back to November 18th*

It was the coldest winter in Iowa in 23 years. It was a Friday, November 18th, Ian picked me up from school, today was the day I finally passed my Geometry test which Ian helped me revise for. He said he was going to take me out to celebrate. To the place we both loved across town, the little 50's diner.  It's always a bit of a trek, but we both love in any ways. We got there around 8:30pm an stayed there for hours, no one came in that we knew, and it's always just the two of us left in the diner. Once we had finished it was almost midnight. We walked out the diner together and the freezing air hit me like a bitch, it was -10°c outside, like I said the coldest winter in Iowa in 23 years. I was wearing my blue skinny jeans, my tall boots that come about an inch below my knee, my pink Floyd tee shirt with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, my black button up coat, black gloves and my navy blue knitted scarf that Connor brought me for my 14th birthday, that I still love. Ian was wearing blue jeans, his timberland boots, black gloves, a plain grey tee shirt, a black hoody and a leather jacket I absolutely love.

We parked the car across the lot, because it was full when we got here, next to this old gas station that's open all hours. Ian saw that I was cold and wrapped his arm round my shoulder pulling me closer to him, instantly warming me up. When we got closer to his car, he stopped dead in his tracks, I wondered what was wrong with his until I saw, there a few yards away was a car parked next to the gas station with no one inside of it. At first I thought nothing of it, you could hardly see it at first because it was so dark, it took my eyes a moment to adjust, until I took a closer look. The black BMW m3, the tinted headlights, the black interior, the scratch on the bumper,  the identical license plate. I knew exactly who's car it was. It was Daniel's car.