Everyday (on hold)

chapter 18

About an hour of me sitting at this ice cream bar, waiting for Skylar to show up, she finally does.

"Hey Macey!" she says excitedly

"Hey" I say

"Sorry I had to postpone this morning, I was watching this really good movie"

"Oh that's alright, I'm sure it was fantastic" I say sarcastically

"Are you okay Macey, you seem a little upset?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm great, even though I feel like everyone is keeping secrets from me, other than that I'm fine"

"What? Since when have you thought that?" oh I don't know, maybe when I saw you with Callum this morning

"Just forget about it"

"Well, there is something I needed to tell you, but I'm a little nervous"

"Skylar, you know you can tell me anything"

"Yeah, I know, I just don't know how you will react to this"

'Just tell me... please?"

"Okay, just don't freak out okay?"

"I wont"

"Okay, well, you know Callum? Well anyway, I have kind of been seeing him, like dating, but he hasn't told anyone because he wants to keep it on the down low, so I guess, I haven't told anyone either". Wow, what a surprise, well kind of, but I don't know what to say, should I pretend that I don't know, or be honest and say I was spying on her this morning. I don't know what to do! Maybe I should just tell her the truth because she is being honest with me.

"I know, well I didn't know that you were dating but, I don't know how to put this, but I came to your house this morning and I saw you... with Callum, like in your room"

"So you were spying on me...?"

"No, well, kind of, I went to your house to see why you were being so secretive because you always tell me everything, and I saw what you were doing"

"Well, I am not going to let this bother me because I am a nice person, but I am still a little disappointed that you didn't trust me"

"BUT YOU LIED TO ME! Why would I trust you if you lied to me!"

"I didn't lie to you, I was helping out Callum"

"He is hiding a relationship with you! He doesn't want to tell anyone that he is dating you because, why? Is he embarrassed of you?"

"I don't know! But cant you just be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you, I am just. Well I don't know, I'm sorry for over reacting"

"Its okay, I'm sorry for lying, I hate fighting, it's the worst thing"

"Yeah, I know, so how long has this been going on with Callum?" I ask.

"Actually not that long, Just after Abbeys party. At the party, you were drunk and he asked me for my number, and the day after, when I went home after we found that secret place, he texted me and asked if I wanted to meet up but not tell anyone, so I went and. OMG IT WAS THE CUTEST THING! I HAD MY FIRST KISS! He met me at my house and we walked for ages and found this cute little pathway to a little park with lots of trees and we sat there and talked for hours, then he did the cutest thing where he brushed the hair away from my face and kissed me! It felt magical, like, I don't know, it's so hard to describe but it was just the most amazing feeling, like I had a rush of freshness go through me and it was amazing. It was so cute! He is the sweetest most genuine guy! He really is so amazing! And he treats me so well, and he agreed to take it slow and not do anything until I was ready. We have been seeing each other everyday since and he asked me out yesterday! But he wants to keep it on the down low because Abbey gets really angry when people in their group associate with people that aren't in their group. But he shouldn't worry about her; he just needs to stand up to her! But maybe me being with Callum could get us in the group, in not just dating him for that reason but that's a plus side. I can't believe I have a boyfriend, it's so weird, but it's like, not a normal relationship because we can't be social at school or anything. The only thing I wish is that we don't have to be secretive, I want to talk to him and tell him that we shouldn't keep us a secret!"

"AW! I'm so jealous, that is the cutest story, like Romeo and Juliet, like your love is forbidden, your relationship is meant to be! You will be together forever! Talk to him and tell him how you feel and I'm sure he will understand"

"Okay, should I go and tell him now?"

"Yes! Yes go!"

"Okay!"

"Wait, I have to tell you something first!"

"What is it!"

"My mum found the cigarettes under my bed!"

"WHAT! WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I said that we had to use it for an assignment at school, she totally believed me, but I feel bad for lying"

"Don't feel bad, it was for your own good, we are in this together, I have to go! Bye mace! LOVE YOU"

"Love you to S, see you tomorrow or something, tell me how everything goes!"

"Okay, bye!"

I start to walk back home and by the time I get home and eat dinner and get into my pajamas, it is dark and I'm in bed. I lay back and the only thing I can think of is Mr. Hemmingsworth. Thoughts start going through my mind and I cant stop thinking about him, what is he likes me, what is I like him, but this cant be real, he is my teacher, its forbidden. And what about PJ, I thought I liked him? I'm so confused. Do I like a teacher, or do I like PJ? I cant like a teacher, that's just gross. But why do both the guys that are in my mind both have girlfriends. What is wrong with me, I am just love sick.

My eyes start getting heavier and heavier and I start to fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up and I remember my thoughts from last night. I suddenly don't want to get out of bed, I have to think about this, for me, this is like life or death; I need to have a serious think about this.

I stay in bed the whole day and think about everything in my life and what I am going to do in the future, I contemplate everything that is happening in my life but I just cant figure out my emotions for who I like, maybe I just don't like any of them? Maybe I am just trying to create this love in my life that I have never had before but I don't really need it. I have been fine the past years so why this sudden rush into having love? Why am I going through all these emotions, I don't even know what I am going to do in my life. I need to slow down my thinking process and take one step at a time, love will come when it wants to and the world will make a plan for me and it will all fall into place eventually. I just need to go through life as it is and deal with the decisions that face me every day.