𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃

28

Yes, the iconic song from Twilight. I know.

Song:
rosyln- bon iver and st. vincent

LEENA

The moment I got home, I locked myself in my room and cried all evening.

I despised how deeply he affected me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to hate him for pushing me away, for saying all those hurtful things.

I knew something had happened that caused him to think the way he did, but I had no idea what it was. A nagging suspicion lingered in the back of my mind, whispering that it might have had something to do with his father's behavior. Still, I pushed the thought aside, unwilling to dwell on it.

My eyes were bloodshot, and my swollen eyelids betrayed the tears I had shed. No amount of effort could mask the evidence of my emotions; it was written all over my face. The redness around my eyes and the puffiness of my lids only highlighted how much I had been crying, making it impossible to hide the truth from anyone who cared to look.

Reyna and Lilith are definitely going to notice.

Reluctantly, I step into the school building, my feet dragging as I make my way directly to my locker. I have no desire to see or speak to anyone right now. The weight in my chest is unbearable, and I know I'm only seconds away from completely falling apart again. All of this, for a boy. Fucking pathetic.

Angel had an unshakable hold on me, one that I couldn't seem to break free from no matter how much I tried.

Deep down, I knew there was a reason behind his decision to push me away-a reason that, in his mind, made perfect sense. It wasn't random or impulsive; he genuinely believed in it.

The frustrating part was that he refused to tell me what it was. He refused to tell me why he didn't deserve happiness. No matter how much I tried to understand or how many hints I pieced together, he kept his walls up, leaving me stranded in the dark with nothing but my own theories.

But it broke my heart that he couldn't see he was worthy. He kept pushing me away, hiding in the shadows as if he didn't want to be noticed. Yet, he was like the sun, radiant and breathtaking, painting the sky with its stunning hues at sunset.

I saw him, and I couldn't help it.

He really thought I was naïve enough to believe him when he said the kiss meant nothing. But he couldn't fool me-not with the way his eyes lingered just a little too long or how his voice wavered ever so slightly. He could try to mask the truth with empty words, but his actions and the emotion behind that kiss betrayed him.

But even if he didn't mean the things he said, the words still cut deep, leaving a sting that refused to fade. I had poured so much of myself into him, into us, only for him to push it all aside as if it meant nothing.

It felt like every effort I made, every moment I tried to reach him, was discarded without a second thought. The constant giving, the endless trying-it was draining. I was exhausted.

I've had enough of chasing after him like some lovesick puppy, desperately hoping that one day he'll open up to me.

I'm tired of putting myself out there, only to be met with his constant brushing me off, as if my feelings didn't matter. The avoidance, the mixed signals-it's all becoming too much to bear. I'm exhausted from trying to make things work when it feels like I'm the only one putting in any effort. No more. I can't keep running after someone who doesn't want to be caught. It's time for me to stop hoping for something that might never come.