𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃

30

Song:
die for you- the weeknd and ariana grande
slowed + reverb

ANGEL

I gave in. Of course I did.

The moment I laid eyes on Leena in the hallway, everything around me seemed to come crashing down in an instant. The sight of her face-tear-streaked, red, and pained-struck me like a punch to the gut.

My heart literally seemed to stop for a moment as I stood there, frozen, unable to look away. It was as though time itself slowed down, and all I could focus on was the raw hurt that was so painfully evident on her face.

In that split second, all the walls I had built up around myself, all the excuses I had made, seemed meaningless. I suddenly couldn't bear to keep treating her the way I had-cold, distant, and indifferent.

Seeing her like that shattered something inside of me, and I realized I had been wrong.

Everything I had done, everything I had said-it didn't matter anymore. The guilt and regret hit me all at once, and I couldn't ignore the overwhelming urge to make things right.

I had every intention of letting her in, of opening up and allowing her to see the side of me I'd kept hidden for so long. But deep down, a nagging fear settled in the pit of my stomach, one that I couldn't shake.

I was terrified it was too late-too late for her to believe in me, too late for me to prove that I could change.

What if she had already made up her mind? What if she didn't even want to hear me out anymore? The idea that I might never get the chance to make things right, to show her that I could be the person she deserved, weighed heavily on my heart.

When I think about reaching out, about bridging the gap between us, that fear creeps in, reminding me that I might not get another chance. The thought of her walking away for good, without ever knowing how much I wanted to change, left me paralyzed in doubt.

However, I made up my mind. If I was going to let anyone in, she'd be the first. She would always be the first.

She was more than just my first kiss and my first love-she was the first person who truly saw me for who I was, beneath all the walls I had built. She pierced through the carefully constructed facade I had created, the one I wore so easily in front of everyone else.

For a year, I had hidden behind that false mask, a barrier made up of sarcasm, indifference, and distance, all designed to keep people from getting too close. I had perfected the art of keeping others at arm's length, using it as a shield to protect myself from the vulnerability I feared.

But with her, all those walls crumbled away. She didn't just see the version of me I allowed the world to see; she saw the real me, the parts I'd buried deep inside. She was the one who uncovered all the layers I had tried so hard to keep hidden, pulling them away like curtains to let in the light that I had long avoided but desperately needed.

And while a part of me could understand the depth of her hurt, I couldn't help but feel a surge of frustration bubbling up inside me.

It was like an invisible weight pressing down on my chest, and I couldn't shake it. How could she not see it? How could she not see how completely in love with her I was? The thought of it gnawed at me, leaving me conflicted and restless.

Was it really that difficult to notice? Was it really so hard for her to believe that no matter what I had said or done, I would always find my way back to her? Even after everything-those careless, hurtful words I had thrown at her, the moments where I pushed her away out of fear-I would always return.