Something New | Taraji x Fantasia

Epiphany

Taraji POV

Squinting my eyes adjusting to the sunlight beaming on my face, I bring my hand to my eyes so I can see the room around me. I clutch the comforter close to my bare chest, slowly stretching my legs. Fantasia lied peacefully next to me, mouth slightly open. I chuckle at how cute she looks.

My mind starts roaming like it usually does, this morning I'm thinking about my son. Wishing I could've spent some more time with him, possibly even a family vacation. Losing both of my sons was the last thing I thought would happen.

A lone teardrop slides down my cheek and my attempt to wipe- fair -as more begin to flow, I try to keep my whimpers hushed not to wake Tasia. Tucking my knees, in the moment it felt the need to make myself small in the huge bed we occupied.

"Baby" Fantasias' deep hoarse voice called out to me.

I secure my knees tightly tears falling on the plush material of the comforter moving my face allowing it sop up my tears staring at the en-suite bathroom trying to focusing on anything else. I didn't want our morning to start off this way, but I guess we are here.

Fanatisa reaches over placing her arm around me pulling me close by my waist.

"What's wrong mama?" She pulls my arm, releasing my grip on my legs pulling me down on top of her. I bury my tear stained face in her neck releasing the sobs I didn't plan on doing today. Gentle circles are traced on my back and the rise and fall of her chest is steady.

Her stillness through all of this and her constant reassurance with sweet sayings in my ear through another crying spell, patiently waiting for the tears to  flowing.

Her deep breath pushes me up, followed by her morning voice makes me shift my face to look at her features that are illuminated by the sunlight coming through the cracks on our drawn shades.

Her gentle hand moves gently wiping the remnant of tears sitting at the bottom of my cheek. Her gingerly touch on my cheek wipes the fresh ones that fall.

"I didn't mean to wake you baby," I respond brushing my hand over her swollen plump cheeks gazing at her eyes as she looks up at the ceiling.

Those soft eyes find mine and she exhales deeply. "Nonsense Raji, tell me what's wrong. Are you thinking about Marcell?" I nod my head and bury my face back in her neck.

"You know, I was thinking about booking us an appointment to do couples counseling when we get back. However, I think we both should see our own indidvual therapist outside of that." Her comfort in the form of soothing circles on my back never ceased.

" I've never really done couples counseling, I'm not oppose- I don't..." Tears started to flow again. I just found it in me to stop my tears for a moment but I couldn't help that I know I have to deal with his death sooner or later.

"No need to answer me know, baby. We have plenty of time to think about that." I hear Fantasia over my sobbing.

"I must be too much to deal with, all I do is cry." I rush out through my tears, chopped by sniffles inbetween.

"Taraji Penda, I don't ever want to hear you say that. Is that how low you think of me? After all that I've been through, leaning on your shoulder when I needed to cry and you think you are too much. Baby, you will never be too much for me. I'm here for you till the end." She grabs the hand with the ring and plays with it.

"I'm not going anywhere baby." She concluded.

ʚɞ

The aroma that filled my nose walking down the stairs to the kitchen was making me hungry and ready to give today the most I could.

I took three deep breaths before walking in the kitchen. Fantasia waiting for me in the kitchen with a warm cup of coffee sitting on the counter. I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on her shoulders.

She hands me the cup of coffee and adjust her body to support mine. "Would you like to eat breakfast on the patio? It's almost finished." I nod my head and stand up straight.

We walk to the patio hand in hand with our cups of coffee and settle in by the table. The warm topical breeze and the sun shine as I close my eyes for a moment. The clinking of utensils are heard in the background. I smell of our breakfast breaks me out of my moment and I shift in my seat.

"I- uh, had a dream about him last night. It was our final moments, I felt like I was reliving it all over again." I said grabbing the fork and poking the potatoes that were on my plate.

The potatoes were quite hot, steam emitted from the plate and set my fork down allowing it to cool off. I look around the villa moving my eyes around taking in the scene of the landscape.

"I figured that was the case when I woke up and saw you." Her voice, drawing my attention. I looked at her freshly washed face and cracked an in genuine smile.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I- I was being difficult from the time we landed. I was just trying to get over all of that chaos. Honestly, Fantasia it did hurt me that you went to see him without talking it over with me." I make another attempt to eat the food plated in front of me.

"It also hurt because I was there with you through it all and you just did that with a thought of me. It made me question if all of our late night talks and love-making confessions were real, this is real to me and in that moment, I was just not sure. I'm still not so sure, but I am willing to try therapy on my own." 

Fantasia stayed quiet throughout my confession, not touching her breakfast. Occasional small sips of her coffee as she stared at the landscape giving me occasional glances to let me know she was listening.

"No need to defend your case baby, you made up for it last night. I just have something's I need to work through if I want this to work." Her chuckles linger as she puts her cup down and grabs hold of my hand adorned with the ring.

"I love you and I don't ever want to put you through that again." Her fingers fiddling with the ring.

" I know and I need you to start eating before I finish it for you. The chef is amazing. Do you think we ca. take him back with us?" I asked earning a chuckle.

"We can see about that baby, we can see."

Our afternoon was full of fun excursions and lighthearted conversations, ending with passionate sex in any room of the villa. I'm not so sure if I can be the same after all of that, but I hope going back home won't bring my fears into reality.

~~
Please don't hate me y'all. I have not forgotten about this book, but I found out I have epilepsy.

I'm going to make an effort to complete this book. Updates will be posted more often now that my seizures are under control.

Short update but more to come 😚

As always, love y'all deep 💜