Earned It | KSJ 🔞

Chapter 12: Family

Kwon Boram's POV

Marriage was something that has never really crossed my mind despite having a fair number of relationships. But truthfully, it scared me. My parents didn't have a perfect marriage, but they managed it well and have raised the both of us with full of contentment, gratefulness, joy, and love, yet I was still scared. However, marriage slowly became less terrifying with each promise that Jin left, asking for my hand, and telling me how serious and willing he was to be with me until I gave in and unconsciously began imagining life with him.

Our honeymoon trip was over a week ago, spending two weeks in Indonesia to explore Bali and other tourist spots and created memories as newly weds. It was by far the greatest trip that we've had, and it was more special because the sea had always been something that connects us — my love for it because of the breeze and the sound of the water and the waves crashing against the shore, and his love for fishing — and it was our first beach trip outside of the country.

However, our wedding still feels like it had just happened yesterday. I would still look at him in disbelief and then look at our wedding ring that has officially joined the other rings he had given me as a symbol of our never-faltering love and adoration.

A giggle escaped my lips the moment I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his nose poking the flesh of my neck as he inhaled my scent.

"You left bed too soon," he complained in a sleepy manner, voice still raspy.

Despite the slight constriction of his hold, I continued kneading the dough that I will be using to make cinnamon rolls. I was craving it and had been thinking about it since last night. Although I could buy one, but my craving specifically wanted it to be freshly baked.

"Your phone notification says you're ovulating," he said nonchalantly but it still made me cackle.

"There is no way you're asking me to have sex right now?"

"I did not tell ahjumma to be on a two-week leave once we get back for nothing." He pulled away, inhaling sharply, and leaned his back on the counter. "But no, I'm not, actually. I'm just saying because it was my first time seeing you get such notification."

I placed the perfectly kneaded dough to a bowl and covered it with a cloth, setting it aside to let the yeast feed on the sugar and ferment so the dough can expand.

"Well, I mean, now that I'm no longer on birth control, I just felt like I needed to be really reminded of it."

"Why?" He asked, and that made me pause from what putting a cling wrap on the bowl.

The silence suddenly became heavy for me, and his gaze did not help at all. He was trying to read me while I tried to figure myself out.

Funny how I was bold telling him months ago that I got my IUD removed because I was ready to build a family with him. I am ready. I can definitely see it.

But am I really ready now?

How do I tell him that I'm having second thoughts?

Do I tell him?

He sighed. "Be honest with me, Love. Are you really ready to get pregnant?"

I nodded slowly. "I am... I think."

There was suddenly a battle inside my head, and I hated how I answered him. I should be sure. I should have already made up my mind, right?

But maybe, it's just that I'm scared? Or am I just not ready to suddenly pause my world as soon as a life grows inside me.

"You're not forced to think that because I want to have kids, right?" His face was written in worry.

I immediately shook my head, and I continued to finally cling wrap bowl. "Not at all love. I know you're open with whatever I say regarding pregnancy. It's just that I'm scared, I believe so."