Earned It | KSJ 🔞

Chapter 25: Refresh

Kwon Boram's POV

Hair holds memories, but to me, it also holds emotions.

I stared at my long wavy hair that reached my waist for the last time on the mirror before me as if it were the memories of loss and the extreme agony and darkness I had been through for the longest time in my life. It was a period I didn't think I would feel as someone who had been mostly optimistic. It was a time when I cursed at the world, felt helpless, and felt unworthy—even for the love that my own husband made me feel.

When my father died while my mother was battling cancer, I sure was in despair, but not enough where it felt like I lost a part of me.

However, losing pumpkin made me feel that way. I felt like a failure and that I wasn't worthy of becoming a mom nor was I worthy of being Jin's wife. Maybe because there was already a loss with bean, then pumpkin followed. I was crushed. I no longer really felt like myself.

Those days are over now, because I'm better now. I hope and believe so.

"Ready?" The stylist asked.

I took a deep breath and then nodded. "Yes."

As she cut the first section of hair—I could hear the scissors and feel her cutting my hair—I couldn't help but tear up.

I decided to cut my hair short, even shorter than the shortest I have had. It now reached my shoulders. It was a scary decision, but I wanted to start my life again as a woman who's fiercer, stronger, wiser, and more certain with herself. Getting my usual haircut won't feel that way.

I want to be a better person and a better wife to Jin. I let myself drown in grief, I almost forgot that I still have my person with me who also had to go through grief from our loss.

After cutting, she showed me the section that she cut which was tied together with an elastic.

There really was no turning back.

The haircut was quick, and she had just finished giving my fresh haircut a blow out. However, looking at it now, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted to change more.

"Sorry, but, is it okay if I do an additional hair color?" I asked, slightly feeling bad for making such a decision so late.

"Hair color?" She repeated.

I nodded.

She asked the receptionist when her next appointment was and to my luck, we still have three hours before that.

"I can fit that in, that is, if you only want a simple color," she clarified.

"Yes. I just want to dye my hair brown for a change. I've had my hair naturally black ever since."

The stylist nodded. "Alright. Perhaps any inspiration for the color?"

I shook my head. "I want it brown but I want it to complement my skin. I'm cool toned."

"Cool toned," she repeated while staring at me on the mirror. "Let me show you some options. For a while." She went through the back door and came back with a color chart of hair dyes. She showed me the shades that best fit my skin tone and under tone, and I ended up deciding to dye my hair ash brown.

"Great. Let me mix that up for you."

The entire process of coloring took around two hours, and I was finally satisfied with the result. I paid them after and made sure to give the stylist a generous tip before leaving.

Jin doesn't have any idea that I just changed my hairstyle and I'm not really sure what he'll think, but I'm on my way back home to surprise him.

I was halfway there when he called. I picked it up and his voice echoed from the speakers of my car.