Earned It | KSJ 🔞

Chapter 17: Talk

Kwon Boram's POV

"You're what?!" Daisy exclaimed after I told her what happened. I found myself in her place, crying as I vent out everything to her.

"You're not serious, are you?!" She asked again.

"But don't you think it's for the best? If he thinks of me that way, there's no point in saving this marriage." I reasoned out.

She hesitated, but spoke what was in her head nonetheless. "Did he really mean it?"

"Of course, he does! He just didn't want to say it so he wouldn't hurt me. But I know, that's what he wanted to say." I cried harder.

Daisy wrapped her arms around me, comforting me. "I don't know everything, Boram, but if you think that's for the best and there's nothing to resolve the issue between the both of you, then proceed with it. But, try to give it some time before filing for a divorce. Maybe, just maybe, you'll still fix it."

I sighed, finally calming down. "There's no fixing. He deserves better. I'm not that woman anymore."

After letting go of my emotions, I decided to come back home, not expecting anything. I didn't even think of the things to say once we see each other. I just knew that I was firm with my decision.

I love him, and that's why I'm letting him go. He needs to be with someone who has time for him, someone who isn't so fixated in her career that it ended up sacrificing the marriage. He needs a woman who can reciprocate the way he's willing to give up everything just to be with him, and I realized that I'm not that woman.

Our marriage scared me because I knew I wanted to be somewhere in my career. He was already established, I'm not. I was only beginning life when we got engaged, barely began when we got married. I had a vision in my life and I was scared our marriage would get in the way. I tried to convince myself that it won't, that we'd figure it out — I'd figure it out — and it somehow worked but on the later years, it turned out to be what I was terrified of.

I got busy chasing my dreams and it compromised us. It's my fault, and I cannot find myself letting go of my dreams now that I'm here just to be with him and give myself to him completely. I don't think I can devote myself in a family just yet.

No matter how much I convinced myself, it just didn't work out.

I'm the problem, that's why I'm letting him go, even if it hurts.

As I entered the house, my immediate action was to search for him. I was hoping he would at least be there, but his car was nowhere to be found. He also left, and somehow, I was hurt that he did.

I went inside our room, freshened up, and cried myself to sleep. It's Sunday. I have no work. I just need to be at the cafe later to monitor and observe its operation.

The sun has risen hours ago, but I woke up late. I slept in too much but it was powerful. After so many months, I felt rested. However, that didn't last when I woke up to the absence of my warmth beside me.

Where could he be? I asked myself. Then, I checked my phone for any messages about him, but I found none. I was worried, but I understood why he didn't tell me of his whereabouts.

He's probably mad at me. It's valid, and it's not like it matters now. We're breaking apart, and soon, we'll no longer be together.

I smiled bitterly, and my eyes wondered in our room that we shared for five years. I recalled the day I moved in, even the days when I wasn't living here yet have spent the night here with him: His first birthday that we spent together, the movie dates, and even the late night talks that we had. They were great memories that I will forever cherish.