Earned It | KSJ 🔞

Chapter 18: Seeing You Hurts

Kim Seokjin's POV

Her phone's alarm woke me up, and I felt her twitch under my arms. I didn't open my eyes and waited for her next actions.

She turned off the alarm and then held my arm that was on top of her, slowly removing it so she could escape. However, I tightened my embrace and went closer to her, almost burying my face on the crook of her neck.

"Stay," I said in a raspy voice.

"We shouldn't have done this." She said, and quickly set herself free from my hold.

"What?" I opened his eyes to look at her.

She stood up, not minding how completely bare she was in front of me.

She had fallen asleep when I cuddled with her. I was surprised she even let me but I didn't say anything. I missed having her this close to me. I missed her warmth against my body before I fell asleep. I missed seeing her face as the last thing to see before I closed my eyes at night.

I miss her.

We may have been sharing the bed, but it has been months since we were intimate. Intimate in the sense that we would cuddle to sleep and have deep talks. She began distancing herself and I couldn't get close even if I tried to. So, last night was the happiest I've been in months.

"For god's sake, we're getting a divorce, aren't we?" She asked, picking up her clothes from the floor.

"Didn't we talk about this already?" I asked, sitting up from the bed.

"Talk? When?" She asked, putting her shirt on.

"Last night!" I exclaimed, frustrated. We didn't say much, but last night was enough for me to know that I should keep going, that even if it lately felt like she wasn't letting me in, she's still able to warm up to me. Hearing her say that she still loves me, even if she's been so distant, is enough for me to keep on fighting for this marriage.

Until she tells me she doesn't me love me anymore, I know I'm not a martyr being a fool in a battle I cannot win. I've won her before, and that was even a battle I had no assurance with. If it means I need to win her again, I would.

"How was that talking?" She asked, brows furrowed, while putting her underwear back on.

"I love you, and you said you love me. Isn't that enough not to proceed with the divorce. Also, didn't I say I don't want it?" I insisted.

I don't understand her. I don't even know why she suddenly asked for a divorce.

She paused in her own thoughts, momentarily staring at me. I knew she didn't mean saying that word to me. So, I smirked. "Speechless? Come on. Don't worry. I forgive you for even saying that word to me."

She sighed. "Just because we still love each doesn't mean we still should be together," she said firmly, leaving the room. I tried calling her, but she ignored me.

This isn't the first time she distanced herself from me but we were able to figure things out and fix it and it did not even take that long for us to handle things. The first time happened years ago too, after that day.

"I'm at Hope hospital right now," she said on the other line, voice weak and quivering, and then a cry followed after.

"What?! Are you okay?" I panicked, immediately standing up and grabbing my keys on the table.

"I am. But," she stopped, sobbing continuously, even choking at her own breath as she tried to form words and continue what she was going to say but couldn't.

"Calm down, please, Love. I'm on my way, okay? Wait for me." I hung up and rushed my way out.

"Sir? The your meeting starts in 10 min—"