l'arte di accogliere il sole

If i can't have this

All the time that passed me by
Always asking myself why
Why i am the way i am
Why it seems like i don't fit anywhere
Why i seem so different
From all the rest
It's like i speak
A language of my own
It's like i'm a stranger
To everybody i know
I just want someone
Who speaks the language of my soul
Cause for me
Love isn't just love
It's like an ancient wisdom
Kept in a kiss
Like a deal
Love isn't just love
It's an altar
Where you go to pray
When everything turns grey
It's sacred
It's divine
It's not something i'm willing to give away to the first who says 'i'm your saviour'
Cause they're only lies
Not anymore
Not gonna turn back now that i made it out alive
Not now that i know
What's really at stake
Now that i really know what i am worth of
I know inside me resides
Honey and wildfire
And i intend to give access to this portal of divine
Only to someone who's as divine
As i am
Is this really so hard to understand?
I didn't survive the storm
The fire
The water in my lungs
The hell
The pain
My dreams that turned to ash
Only to have something that doesn't last
Only to have some love affair
That vanish like sand that is spread in the air
I'm not meant to be loved in half
I want to drown into someone
I want to merge souls
And create new words
And rise above
Every fear of ours
Push ourselves though every human limits
I want something as deep as the sea
As warm as the sun
As hot as fire
As clear as the blue sky
Are my expectations far too high?
You know what? I would rather die
Than have something shallow
And meaningless
Spill my blood on the walls
Right now, if that's what you think i would choose
I won't follow the crowds
I never did, so why should i now?
I'm good on my own
I saved myself a long time ago
So if i can't have this
Then i'm ready
I'm ready to live
With myself, by myself
I've learned to love me as nobody can
As nobody did
If i can't have this
I'll die alone
In peace.