Healing Blitzo

The First Dark Memory Part 1

More than once, Blitzo was asked if he was sure he was ready for this. Truth be told, he wasn't sure himself. Regardless, he knew that it had to be done. If healing him meant confronting the darkest memories of his past, then so be it. He figured it made sense with the first one that started it all, the moment in his life where everything went downhill.

Losing his family is what made him into a killer, which made him eventually find Zella, which then made him lose her and then become what he is today.

Seeing his family in his memories was hard. Harder than he imagined. He only saw them in nightmares or moments of flashbacks. Not counting the Nightmare Parasite that practically raped his mind over and over. He could still remember all of those nightmares that it forced him to be submitted to until it finally got out of his brain. The numerous times he saw those he loved dying while insulting them. He still tried to save them even after knowing it was all an illusion and the outcome was always the same.

And he failed again and again.

It was funny. When he learned to be an assassin all those years ago, he was told never to open his heart to anything. An assassin who cares is a dead assassin. However, that was always Blitzo's weakness. He cared too much, and it affected him. For all his faults, mistakes, and actions, there was one thing he always held, and that was love for them all.

Those who he lost.

Those who he hurt.

And those who were still here for him.

"Come on, Blitzy," Stolas said as the Prince held a fork of eggs close to his lover's mouth. "You need your strength. Rachmiel said that this was going to be a time-consuming moment. Your body needs its nutrients."

"I know," Blitzo said as he opened his mouth and took a bite. There was still plenty of food for him to eat on the table, but he was too nervous to think about it. It wasn't that Blitzo didn't know what he was going to see that made him so nervous; it was just seeing in front of him so vividly again.

Even if the feeling and bits of memory were fresh, the entire sequence of events was not as clear as day. It had been about nearly a hundred years since he lost his family, and he tried to push it back as much as possible. But so many things you never forget.

He slowly took some bacon and began to eat it as he looked across from him, where Loona was nervously nibbling on some toast. "Are you sure you want to do it today? If you're not feeling good..."

"No, Loona. I want to do it. I'm ready to barf, but I gotta think of it like going to a dentist. You hate it, but you gotta do it," Blitzo joked as he bit into another bacon stripe, but it barely tasted like anything.

None of the others were saying anything, either. Octavia was doing her best to keep Loona calm by stroking her tail. Blitzo really was glad they had become such good friends. If things between and Stolas really went well, they could be legit sisters. Millie and Moxxie held hands while staring at him with worry that moved him. If there was one good thing about all that had happened in the past forty-eight hours, it was that his favorite M&M couple was back to being a couple. Yes, they had Moxxie's terrorist brother after them, and Millie had essentially disowned her family because of their dickish behavior. But Blitzo was willing to take any positives to help calm himself.

He had to remember that this was all for the greater good of getting him better. Everyone had worked hard to help him, so he also had to do his part. To face the tragedies in his life that were holding him back and slowly breaking him. Besides, he didn't want to be a burden anymore. Especially in another fight now that they had a new enemy: Moxxie's brother. Chances are he had gathered remnants of the I.R.A. into his fold, and Blitzo knew from past contracts how dangerous those fuckers could be.