Hold Me Close (Edited Version)

Chapter 7

There was subtle music playing when I stirred. I was lying on a soft, fluffy marshmallow; it was warm and cozy and I sighed happily into my pillow. I had I slept this good? I didn't know, and I really didn't care. I snuggled closer to the sorce of warmth and felt it shift closer to me as well. I breathed out in content at that and tried to fall back asleep. Then my eyes popped open and I was staring directly at a dark blue v-neck shirt covering a familiar chest.

I didn't move. For a moment, I wondered how I had gotten into such a situation as this. I had no clue. I didn't remember what happened past me crying like a child into Ryan's shoulder while he soothed and comforted me. My face reddened at the thought and I wanted out of Ryan's arms as quickly as possible. Without moving my head, I glanced down and saw that Ryan's arms were around my waist. I struggled to swallow at that and pushed away any ideas that tried to sprout on their own. He was still fast asleep, but I was afraid that if I tried to move away he'd wake up. That was the last thing I wanted. I pictured him opening his eyes and both of us turning the deepest shade of crimson as we saw what was happening. No, no, waking him would only serve to embarrass us both.

I took calming breaths to relax my body. If I was relaxed enough, I might be able to slip out of his arms and free myself. I let my arms go slack and wiggled down a bit. There was a pressure on my hips and I realized Ryan had tightened his hold on me, squeezing me closer. I started to panic. I wasn't claustrophobic, but not being able to move or stand up made me feel like I was in a tiny box without air; not to mention the terror of Ryan wkaing up to find me in such a state. I started moving more and gently grabbed his wrists to pulled his arms away. His sleeping mind didn't like that, however, and he hugged me even tighter, shoving his face into my neck.

I gasped as his eyelashes tickled my neck, closing my mouth second later to remain silent. For a minute, I froze. When I did, Ryan stopped snuggling me. I let out a breath. However, my relief was short lived as he moved his knee in between my legs and pushed up. My attraction toward Ryan did nothing to quell the feeling that rose in my gut. I covered my mouth to keep myself from making any noise. I could feel his knee pushing at me insistently through my jeans. This was not good for my state of mine. I already blushed when he smiled, this would just make things even more uncomfortable.

I broke out into a cold sweat and closed my eyes. As I lay there, hoping he'd let go so I could save myself the embarrassment of having to be seen this way, Ryan's arms loosed and he shifted away a little. I took a deep breath of needed air and relaxed. I held very still, eyeing what I could see of him without moving my head. A frown crossed his face and he rolled over with a snuffle, grumbling unhappily. As soon as I was freed, I scrambled off the bed and stared down at him from several safe feet away. Ryan shivered from the loss of body heat and pulled the covers over his shoulders, sinking into his pillows.

I sank to the floor and breathed out a huge sigh of relief. I felt a little disappointed, but at the same time, I was extremely relieved to be out of his arms. I didn't need a new distraction after I just got rid of the old one.

After I let my heartbeat slow down, I stood up and went into the bathroom. I fixed my messy bed-head hair and made sure I looked decent. If Ryan was going to offer me his home, I might as well try to look like I appreciated it; I did.

Ryan was still sleeping when I reentered the bedroom, so I lowered myself into one of the bean bags, my eyes still on him warily. His sea blue eyes were closed, but I could tell he was dreaming. He had a hint of a smile on his face as he hugged a pillow like a baby, his eyes going this way and that behind his eyelids. I rested my elbow on my knee and put my chin in my hand. I'd looked at girls and, sure, I thought they were pretty. But it wasn't the same as being attracted to them. I had never felt any attraction toward a girl, only Connor, who I now hated, and Ryan, who I hadn't yet decided how I felt about.

There was a rustling and I was torn from my thoughts as Ryan up and looked around groggily, eyes unfocused. He looked at me and his eyebrows furrowed. "Didn't you just..." He began to speak, his voice thick with sleep, but trailed off.

I hoped he hadn't been half awake earlier as I shook my head. "No, I've been here the whole time," I said quickly.

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Okay. I guess I was just dreaming," he said.

I watched him stumble out of bed and into the bathroom, wondering hopefully if he had been dreaming about me. That thought was pleasant but unlikely, so I didn't dwell on it. There was clattering and shuffling around in the next room before he came back out, his hair looking better and his sleepy eyes combined with a bright smile. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay here," I said, truly grateful.

He shrugged. "No problem," he said. "Glad you chose me instead of sleeping outside or something."

That sounded mightily uncomfortable, but I nodded in agreement and stood up. "I better go," I said. "It may be Saturday, but I haven't done any of my homework yet."

Ryan frowned, clearly disappointed to hear this. "But, you said yesterday that you'd hang out with me," he protested.

I thought back, knowing full well I had, and inwardly sighed. This was going to be tough. "I know," I said slowly, "but I said that if I had time I would."

"No, you said you would," he countered.

"Ryan-..." I puffed, but I found I really couldn't be angry with him and eventually I smiled despite myself. "Alight. I'll hang out with you," I relented.

He grinned. "Oh, yeah!" he said.

"But only if I can make it back to my dad's house before dark. I need some time to study," I said. I knew he would agree to this and I was right.

Ryan nodded ecstatically. "Absolutely. I will make sure we're back by- before dark," he said. Then he grabbed his shoes. "So, where do you want to go?"

I started putting on my own shoes. "I'm not super familiar with the area, so I don't know what's around," I said.

"Seriously?" Ryan chuckled and grabbed my arm. "I know just where to take you," he said excitedly.

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