Hold Me Close (Edited Version)

Chapter 32

Ryan's parents came and picked him up a short time after our conversation and I was left alone to my thoughts. Usually I would prefer solitude, but at the moment I really wished I could talk to Edward. I kept thinking about what would happen if my dad was in danger still, or if my mom got to him before I had the chance to warn him. My hands kept playing with the sheets on my bed while I subconsciously chewed my lip to shreds, trying to blink away my anxiety to no avail. I didn't know if I should be nervous or excited to go home. If my dad was okay then I should be happy. Then again, if he was okay then I couldn't get rid of my mom. But if he wasn't okay, there was no way my mom would let me just waltz right in and take her down. I chewed my bottom lip some more.

As the day progressed, I turned down lunch and dinner, and I hardly spoke to the doctor or nurse unless I had to. My mind was just too conflicted at the moment, nothing felt wrong, but nothing felt right either. It was maddening. The nurse seemed to notice and tried to talk to me, but I just brushed it off with a soft "It's nothing..." and went back to staring out the window.

As the day came and went, I sighed and closed my eyes. It was almost 1:00 in the morning and couldn't sleep. I was exhausted, but I just couldn't make my mind shut down for the night. It was annoying to say the least. I ran a hand through my hair and bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted metallic.

The nurse came in with a glass of water and held it out to me. "Here," she said. "It'll help you sleep."

I took the cup and glanced at the contents. I wondered what nightmares I'd see if I swallowed it and whatever was mixed into it. "No thanks," I said. I set the glass on the table beside my bed. "I don't really want to sleep..."

The nurse frowned. "Why not? Is something the matter?" she asked.

I sighed again. "I don't know... Maybe."

The nurse pulled up a chair and sat down. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No..." I said.

Her frown became one of worry. "Honey, it can't be that bad, and if it is, then you really should say something," she urged. When I didn't reply she said, "I know! Why don't we get to know each other? Then you won't be so nervous to tell me what's wrong." She smiled brightly. "Let's start with names. I'm Sylvia. What's your name?"

I knew she already knew my name off of my charts, but I decided this little game would be a good distraction, so I went along with it. "Jacob," I said.

She held out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Jacob."

I shook her hand. "You too..." I mumbled.

She smiled. "What's your favorite color?" she asked. 

"Uh... Silver?" I told her. It was the same thing I told Ryan when I first met him, but I didn't really have a favorite color. I told the nurse this and she smiled at me.

"That's okay," Sylvia said. "You can make stuff up if you don't have an answer. My favorite color is purple."

Then she told me to ask a question. I hesitated. "What's your favorite hobby?" I asked randomly.

"Oh, that's a hard one. I'll have to go with flower stamping. I have a bunch of flower stamp books filled to the brim with flowers," she said. "What about you?"

This conversation went on for a few hours, late into the night and much past Sylvia's shift. But she didn't leave, she sat by my bed and made me laugh and joke with her until I had all but forgotten my mother and my worried. Eventually, I felt my eyes getting heavy and I yawned several times, until Silvia told me she thought I should get some rest.