Hold Me Close (Edited Version)

Chapter 13

With backpack in hand, I stepped out of my dad's house and peeked around the edge of the porch. The coast was clear. So far, it had been a few days and I hadn't seen or heard from Connor at all. However, I still wanted to be cautious. He wasn't the kind of person who gave up easily. I should know, he followed me all the way through the court sessions to my dad's house where I had only been living for a month or so. Thankfully not seeing anything today either, I hurried down the street towards Ryan's so we could walk to school together.

For the first day or two, Ryan's and my relationship had been a little tense. I was more than a little nervous about knowing how he felt towards me, and he was struggling to keep referring to me as a friend. We had grown complacent, and now that our comfort had been disturbed, we were finding it difficult to remember how we had spent time together before. It was hard on us both, but I had insisted we stay friends. Ryan had been eager to be my friend no matter what, so that wasn't the problem. The problem was that everytime we saw each other we relived our kiss and things would get... awkward; more than awkward, really.

I was turning the corner when I spotted Ryan waiting by the bus stop, hands in his pockets as he swayed back and forth leisurely. We always walked to school, but we met in the middle which just so happen to be one of the bus' morning stops. I waved when I got close and he noticed me, a smile covering his face. "Hey, I was wondering if you weren't going to make it," he said.

"Sorry," I replied, "I couldn't find my math book."

He chuckled. "Maybe if you had left it home, Mrs. Koke would let you skip out," he said.

I scoffed. "Not a chance. She's too brutal"

Ryan snickered. "You think? I though all her pop quizzes and extra hard tests were to be nice."

We both chuckled at the sarcasm and headed for school. When we got there we parted ways and went to each of our separate classes for the day. I did my best to stay awake in history, watched as a kid blew up his science project in biology, and I did okay for math, but I was sure to fail language. I sucked at Spanish and our school didn't offer sign language the way my last school had before I transferred.

I was relieved when my last class finally arrived and I caught sight of Ryan standing outside the door. I said hi as I passed him, and went to walk into the classroom. However, before I could cross the threshold, he grabbed my arm. "Can I talk to you after school?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow, trying not to let panic set in at he tone of his voice. "I suppose," I said. "What's up?"

He shook his head. "Just wait until after school," he told me.

I felt a little unnerved by the fact that he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I didn't argue. I walked to my seat and he went to his. I saw him fidgeting all through class, and he took very few notes. I tried to think of why he'd be so nervous all of a sudden, but nothing was coming to mind. Ryan was always so happy and confident; it worried me that something might be bothering him. I paid no attention to the teacher as I wondered what could be wrong with Ryan. I considered he parents might have had a fight, but then shook my head because he wouldn't tell me something like that and even if he did, he would've have been acting weird from the start. Maybe someone had threatened him and he wanted to talk to me about it, thought I couldn't think of any reason someone would want to threaten Ryan.

Does he want to tell me he doesn't want to be friends? Are things too weird between us now?

The thought crossed my mind and my jaw dropped to my desk. Was that really what he wanted to talk about? Had I made him upset by rejecting him and he had decided he didn't want to be just friends anymore? I thought of a million different reasons of why that couldn't be it, but none of them were satisfying enough, and by the end of class my head was spinning. I didn't know what to do and I was so nervous that the moment class ended I grabbed my things and headed for the door, not even waiting for Ryan to follow. I didn't want to hear him say that he hated me.

I was walking out the doors before I realized Ryan was calling me. Being so focused on my fear had sent my anxiety spiraling and I slowed my steps so he could catch up. He was panting from having chased me halfway down the hall. "What's with you?" he asked. I didn't answer and he shook it off. "Whatever."

I thought he was going to tell me what he wanted to tell me, but he said nothing and a long silence stretched out between us until we were passing the park. I knew my dad wouldn't be home yet, so I slowed and went to one of the swings. Ryan followed and sat in the one next to me. Still, he said nothing. Not that I wanted to end our friendship, but I'd like to get it over with so I wouldn't have to deal with the worry anymore.

However, after another five minutes of silence, I rolled my eyes. "Spit it out, would you?"

Ryan jumped at my voice and cleared his throat. "Oh, uh... yeah..." He took a deep breath and kept his eyes on the ground. "So, I know things have been a little stressed lately."

Here it comes, I thought, he's going to tell me he doesn't want to be friends anymore. I took a deep breath and I swallowed back the words that wanted to spill forth in denial. I told myself that whatever happened, Ryan had a right to make this decision.

I shifted my eyes away and he paused, seeing this. "But I wanted to know... if you wanted to... Uh..." He was struggling to get the words out and I was cringing in preparation for the rejection. Finally, he scratched his head and sighed. "Jesus, it's harder to be polite," he grumbled. He looked at me seriously. "My parents want to meet you. Can you come to dinner tomorrow?"

I stared at him, having prepared an entirely different speech in my head than one that would be appropriate for this particular situation. "What?" I asked instead. Everything suddenly registered at once and my brain was going over the top, but I was so relieved I could barely think straight. "You want me to do what?" I asked.

Ryan frowned at my surprise and said, "I was talking to my parents the other day and they said the wanted to meet you. They asked if you'd like to come to dinner tomorrow night," he explained.

"Oh..." I was all I said. I thought back and realized that I hadn't actually ever met his parents before. I'd gone to his house several times, but his parents had always been at work or in another room.

Ryan shifted uncomfortably. "Also..." he started. "It's been really weird between us and I've been nervous to ask you over so... I was really hoping you'd come."

I couldn't help, but breathe out in relief as I smiled. "I'll come," I said. "I want to make things normal between us again too."

The tension in him seemed to slip away and he returned my smile. "Really? You'll come? Oh, great..." he said. He laughed a little and admitted, "I was so worried you'd say no."

I shook my head, relaxing. "No, I was actually freaking out a bit, myself," I joked. "You had me super worried for a minute there with all your silence and crap."

Ryan raised an amused eyebrow. "What did you think I was going to ask?"

I felt a little embarrassed for even considering that he'd throw me away, so I shook my head again, deciding not to tell him. "Nothing. I was just being weird. Don't worry about it," I said.

"Oh, really? Was it actually nothing?" He narrowed his eyes. "It had to be something if it made you nervous."

I turned away and crossed my arms in fake defiance. "Nope. It was absolutely nothing important," I said.

He smirked and crept up behind me. "I'll tickle you if you don't tell me," he warned.

I turned around to tell him he wouldn't dare, but he grabbed my waist and I let out a shrill gasp as I giggled and tried to squirm away. "No! Stop! Haha! Ryan- Haha!" I tried to run away from him, but he followed me, tickling me until I was practically screaming, unable to say a single word. Not that I needed to, Ryan already knew everything I ever wanted to say.

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