Hold Me Close (Edited Version)

Chapter 25

For hours, I sat alone in that room, wondering where Ryan was and what they were doing to him. I could think of a number of things, nothing short of abuse, but I didn't want to imagine them. I knew none of it would be good and I didn't want to think about what might be happening to him when I couldn't even do anything to stop it. I had been released from my restraints shortly after Ryan was taken away, probably because they didn't see me as a threat when Ryan was away. I had banged on the door and shouted at the top of my lungs, but I received no response. Steven knew my history from the time when he was dating my mother, he knew I was more the lay-down-and-roll-over than the fight-back-with-everything-I-have type.

After what felt like an eternity alone with nothing but the ringing silence of my thoughts, the door opened and Ryan was carried into the room; he didn't walk in on his own two feet. His face was flushed and his eyes were red from whatever stress had made him cry. My whole body screamed with rage as I saw his collar was torn and he looked like he'd been rolling around on something dirty like the floor. He didn't look at me, he kept his glazed eyes on the floor. His hair was drenched in sweat and he was breathing hard through his nose.

I wanted to run to him, but one of the men shouted at me when I tried to stand, telling me to stay where I was. I did, but only because they were still holding Ryan and I didn't want him to get hurt. While I watched, the men dragged him over to one of the walls and dumped him down, not even caring that he seemed unable to hold himself up. I waited anxiously until the door closed before I rushed to Ryan's side. "Oh, my God. What did they do?" I asked.

I reached out to touch his arm to see if he was okay when he suddenly slapped my hand away with a blinded growl. "Don't touch me...!" he gasped, blinking his eyes open blearily. I drew my hand back in surprised and felt a lump form in my throat as he stared at me, venom on his tongue. His eyes were angry for a second, hatred boiling beneath the surface, before they seemed to clear. He fumbled with his words. "Jacob..." he said.

I knew he hadn't aimed those cold words at me, but it's still hurt; my hand hurt. I found myself moving away. "Sorry... I'll leave you alone," I said.

Ryan frowned and grabbed my hand, pulling my back towards him. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I thought-" He trailed off mid-sentence and looked away. "Never mind. I didn't mean to scare you."

Though I was unnerved by his first reaction to me, I allowed myself to be wrapped in his arms and I hugged him back. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it..." I said.

I could feel his body trembling against mine and I felt so full of anger I had to hold Ryan tighter just to keep myself from screaming. I knew exactly what they'd done to him. They were disgusting and vile. I hoped they were repaid in full for everything they had done.

Ryan had his face in my shoulder and was rubbing my back like he was caring for me, but I could feel his tears soaking my sleeve and hears his breathy sobs as he fell apart in my arms. He was upset and I knew it. But I wasn't going to argue with him. This was how he coped and he could pretend if it helped him deal with the trauma. I let him cry it out in my shirt as ran my hands through his hair lovingly. After a while, he sniffled one last time and pulled away. He cleared his throat and looked down. "I t-tried to listen to see if I could get some information, but I didn't hear anything of h-... help," he said, a slight stutter in his voice.

He was putting on a tough act. It hurt that he wouldn't lean on me, but I decided not to push him. "Oh..." I said.

He nodded, trying to be in control of a situation he could never control. "I'll see what I can do next time," he said.

"There won't be a next time," I told him. He hesitated and I started over, calmer this time so as not to upset him. "I won't let them take you anywhere."