Flashbulbs

Just Numbers.

*texts from Sadie will be in italics. Texts from Harry will be in bold.*

It didn't take long for pictures of Harry and I leaving that party together to make its way to the public. I tried to act okay with it, and while I didn't feel as scared as I thought I would, I wasn't okay with it. Harry texted me, asking if I was okay and I simply said yes, not wanting to worry him.
Today at work I'll be busy, going over the sets that will be used in a new ad campaign I'm shooting this week. A few coworkers, including Heath, are helping me set everything up.
"Hey cougar," Heath greets me when I come into the shoot location. "Excuse me?" He just looks at me, smiling a bit. "You know what I said. You're with that young boy right?"
For the first time since this whole thing has started, I'm officially embarrassed. Not by Harry, he's wonderful, but by the fact that people will talk about me. "He's a friend, Heath. His age doesn't matter does it?" He turns to me again, "you're not just friends, so don't lie. And it does matter. He's a baby!"
I make an excuse to go to the bathroom, not wanting to have a stroke right in front of Heath. I know he's teasing and probably finds it funny. But having struggled with this at the start, I don't know how to react to him. I get a text while I'm hiding.
Hi gorgeous. Your day going well?
I don't answer him because I know he'll be able to tell there's something wrong with me right now. I head back to the set, ignoring Heath, and go about my day.
Time goes quickly and while I'm walking home, Arnez calls me. "Hi bitch! How is life?" I'm quiet for a minute, "it's alright. Yours?" She sighs, knowing immediately that something is wrong. "Spill, Sadie. I know something is wrong." So I tell her. I spill about the party and the incredible time with Harry. She calls me names, mostly things like dirty tramp, then asks what's actually wrong.
"So there's pictures of us now, together you know. And today, a guy at work made a comment about me being a cougar and how Harry is a baby!" She laughs, "now Sadie. You know that's not true. He's not a baby. He's a grown ass man. A sexy one too, good job."
"Harry texted me today but I didn't answer. He'll know something is wrong. What do I tell him?" Arnez thinks for awhile, seeming like she's making a plan. "Honey, who cares what some guy at work says? You're happy, I can tell. That guy can fuck a duck for all I care." At least she makes me laugh.
I make my way home, promising to call Arnez more often and not let pigs get in the way of Harry and I. I know I'll keep my first promise, but I'm not so sure about the second.
•••
I never answered Harry's text yesterday and I'm not surprised to find two waiting for me when I wake up.
Sadie, did you not get my text yesterday?
Babe, are you alright?
I'm fine Harry. Sorry, just very busy.
What's wrong? Gorgeous, I can tell something is up.
Just a work thing. We'll talk soon.
I don't look at his next text or even worry about it. I have things to do at work and I hurry to get ready and head there.
I get to the location only finding Heath, waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. "So Sadie, I have a question for you." I'm sure I won't like this, but it's not as if I can pretend I didn't hear him. "Yes, Heath?" He moves closer to me causing me to back up. "I was wondering if we could go out sometime."
He has got to be fucking joking. "Heath, stop." He laughs a little, "what? I'm serious. Come on. We could do dinner." I shake my head, moving away from him again. "Not a chance, Heath. Thanks though." He looks at me with an angry face, "oh you won't go out with me but you'll date that little boy?"
I'm shocked and disgusted at him. "Are you fucking kidding? Even if you had a chance, you wouldn't have one now." I'm half tempted to smack the shit out of him. But I walk away instead, going outside for some fresh air. The rest of the crew shows up and things go according to plan, with me ignoring Heath. And Harry.
     Arnez calls me, asking how things are going with Harry and I tell her. I tell her they aren't. "Babe, it's just numbers. That's it. He doesn't live like a normal 21 year old and you're fucking adorable. So shut up." I tell her I will, knowing full well I won't.
•••
     Heath makes a point to bring up ages every time I'm around him. "Sadie. I'd like you to reconsider the date." I sigh, fighting the urge to punch him. "Absolutely not." Heath sits by me, eating his lunch next to me, quiet for a bit. "Really though Sadie. How can you turn down me, a man your own age, for a boy? He's a kid, Sadie." His words make me sick to my stomach and I move to leave.
     "It's not like that, Heath. Why are you so obsessed with his age?" I watch him, waiting for the answer. "I just don't get it, Sadie. I don't get what he wants in someone your age and I don't get what a grown woman like you wants with him. What can he give you, Sadie?"
     I don't even answer, I just walk away. And sadly, his words stick with me. Maybe it's something to think about, trying to decide what I'm doing with Harry. I'm too old for him. As I think this, I get a text from Harry.
Sadie, please talk to me. Something feels wrong.
     Nothing is wrong Harry, just very busy. We'll talk soon though, promise.
     I get home and put my phone in a drawer, knowing he'll text me back. I know it's wrong to just leave him in the dark. But I can't handle it right now. I decide to head to bed, hoping my decision will feel better tomorrow.