Flashbulbs

Tour Life.

*texts from Sadie will be in italics. Texts from Harry will be in bold.*

In the last few days, I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I requested a week off of work, wanting to spend as much time as possible with Harry before he leaves for America and the tour. We spent much of our time being domestic, grocery shopping or setting up his house in preparation for sitting empty. We spend every night together, spoiling ourselves with each other. But today is when he leaves and I'm trying not to have a meltdown.
When we were at his mother's yesterday, him saying goodbye to them, Gemma pulled me aside. She told me she talked to Anne, and Harry, and wanted me to know she was sorry. She wants to get to know me and I said I had no problem with that. I'm looking forward to it actually.
What I'm not looking forward to is all this time apart. I always knew it would come to this since this is a huge part of Harry's job, but it doesn't make it easier. We're in a car, Harry having hired a driver so I wouldn't have to drive upset, heading to the airfield the boys will leave from. I've packed Harry a bit of a package, not allowing him to open it until he's gone.
When we arrive, the other boys are there saying goodbye to people they love. I say bye to the boys, leaving Harry until the end. We move away from the crowd, hiding ourselves behind the car we came in. "I'm going to miss you so much, gorgeous. I never thought leaving for tour would hurt this bad." He half smiles at me, hugging me into his chest. "I'll miss you too, Harry. So much."
I feel myself start to cry, not being able to hold it in. Harry feels it too. "Baby, don't cry. It's okay. We can FaceTime and call and you can come see me. It'll be fine. Time will fly by." I nod, not agreeing verbally with him. "I love you, Harry. Be safe, please."
He gives me a long, deep kiss, his tongue caressing mine. "I love you too, Sadie. More than you know. I'll let you know when we land. I've got to go. I love you." I kiss him again, handing him the package from the car. "I love you, Harry. Talk to you soon. Have fun." He takes the package leaving one last kiss to my lips before heading to board the plane. He stops at the door, waving again, before disappearing inside. I manage to get into the car before having a total meltdown.
I call Arnez, needing something to occupy myself. "Hey bitch, what's up?" I whimper, sad. "I'm sad. Harry just left for tour and I'm so sad."
"Aw babe, it's okay. I was thinking. My mom is taking Daisy for a week, what if I come see you this weekend?" I squeal, "are you serious?!" She laughs, stating she is. We make plans and I am excited, but not excited enough to stop missing Harry. We end the call and I fall asleep, only waking when I make it back to my lonely apartment.
•••
Hiiiii gorgeous. We've landed. I hope you're okay.
Thanks for letting me know baby. I'm sad but I'm okay. Arnez is coming this weekend!
Oh that's awesome! I need to meet her. I opened your package. The letter made me cry. Ha.
Aww baby! You're the cutest. I love you.
My heart flutters when you say that. I love you too, Sadie. So much.
I've stayed awake but since I know you're okay I'm going to try to nap. Talk to you soon.
Sleep well babe. Miss you. Love you.
•••
Arnez is here and says she wants to meet you and seduce Niall. HA!
I'll be sure to warn him! Haha he needs some seducing though, to be honest.
I won't tell Arnez that. She'd scare him a bit haha how are you baby? Miss you.
I'm alright baby. Tour is going well. Miss you though. Miss my bed haha
I miss your bed too. And I miss you more. :*
I gotta run, but I'll call later. I love you.
I love you too.
•••
Sorry I didn't call, shit got a bit crazy. I'll call today though.
That's fine, I was enjoying time with Arnez. She left this morning. I'm lonesome again.
Aw, it's okay baby. I'll be home before you know it.
I know. I go back to work tomorrow, this week off has spoiled me!
I imagine. Sound check time. Call later. Love you.
•••
Sorry I missed your call today babe. Was in a shoot. Far more boring than the one I did of you.
Are you okay? You're not answering.
Well apparently you're busy, I'll try later.
Sorry babe, busy day.
Harry's words are weird to me, not the normal loving way he usually talks to me. But I know he's busy, I can't get mad at him for that. Our communication has been a little off lately, but I just blame the time difference and the traveling he's doing. Three days go by without word from Harry when finally he calls.
"Hi gorgeous. How are you?" His casual tone upsets me a little bit, but I don't want to fight with him in this short time I have. "I'm fine Harry, how are you?" He tells me about tour, the cities they're visiting, not once asking about work or what I'm doing. I ignore my building anger, reminding myself that I'm not used to life when he's on tour. "But I've got to run, busy day again today. Love you."
"Yeah, Harry. You too. Talk later," and I hang up. My heart is aching a little, but I couldn't hide my real feelings. My phone buzzes with a text.
Are you okay? You didn't say you love me.
Yes I did. I said you too.
? That's not the same thing and you know it. What's wrong?
Nothing is wrong, Harry. Everything is fine.
I know you're lying but I won't push it. Talk to you soon babe.
Okay, have a good day.
I know that sounds too formal, but I'm feeling weird, feeling out of my comfort zone. I don't know if I can handle this tour.
•••
Babe. Can I call?
I'm at work, but I'll answer.
Okay, call soon.
He doesn't call soon, he calls two days later when I'm sitting at home alone.
•••
Harry, I don't know about all of this.
Baby, what are you talking about? What's wrong?
Tour. I can't handle it. I miss you and we barely talk.
Sadie, we talk as much as I can. Tour is busy. I warned you about this.
I know you did. I'm sorry babe. I'll get used to it.
I miss you very much. I love you Sadie. Don't forget that.
I won't, I love you too. What are you up to?
We're in LA so I think I'm going to shop a bit before sound check. Nothing fancy. What are you doing?
That sounds nice. I'm just laying around, Netflix is on.
Mmm, wish I was there to cuddle. I'll try to call later okay? Love you.
I love you too Harry. Have fun.
He doesn't call later, not that I expect him to at this point. Something feels off, our talks limited in the last week. I just hope everything is okay. But unfortunately, shit does not get better in the morning.