Flashbulbs

Big Love.

*texts from Sadie will be in italics. Texts from Harry will be in bold.*

     In the two months since I've come home, things have been... different. Harry has been normal, showering me with love and affection, but I just feel different. I think the fight with Harry has made me feel uncomfortable in our relationship. Maybe that's not the right word. I think unstable is better.
     I feel as though I walk on egg shells, always trying to keep out of Harry's way and making sure it's perfect, otherwise he will yell at me again. I'm disgusted with how I've been acting, ashamed that I've let such a small part of our time together taint us. But I cannot help it. Harry asks me constantly if I'm okay and I am, I just can't shake the funk of our mini separation.
     I've started my freelance work, having hired a friend of Samantha's as my agent. I've had two jobs, so I have a lot of free time. But, the jobs have paid nearly three times what I was making at the company. I enjoy the free time, but it gives me more time to stew and create problems in my mind.
     I'm making lunch when Harry comes home from golf with Niall. "Hi gorgeous. What are you making? It smells delicious." I turn and hug him, almost enjoying the smell of his sweat. "I'm making spicy chicken pasta. Sound okay? You hungry?" He nods, kissing me. "Sounds great. I'm going to shower. I stink!" He winks at me and leaves the room and I release a sigh. I feel on edge around him and I don't know how to change it.
     He comes down quickly and it's time to eat. Unlike a long time ago, we barely talk while we eat, instead making small talk about weather and chores that need done. I know Harry's getting annoyed with me, I can tell. But he loves me and he knows part of this is his fault, so he accepts it. My heart hurts all the time.
     "Sadie, what time will you be home tomorrow do you think?" His question makes me think of what's supposed to happen tomorrow but I can't think of anything. "I have a meeting with Alice at 3 for potential jobs and that's it. Probably be home by 6. Why?"
     He smiles at me and nods, "sounds perfect babe. I have a surprise for you." I smile at him, happy at the idea of normal time with him. We clear our plates and spend the day doing things we always do. I spend some time in the pool while Harry talks work on the phone. Time is passing differently than it used to and I feel so out of place in my own life.
•••
     My meting with Alice is going well, lots of prospective jobs. The great thing about doing things on my own, well with her help, is that I make the decision, nobody else. We decide to turn a couple down, only because the outline was too specific. I trust my artistic instinct and don't want to be stuck to specifics. I accept two other jobs and make the contracts and time commitments. I have nothing to do now until a week from Monday when contract number one begins. It's a three day shoot in Bristol that will make me enough to live for two months. I can't complain about that.
I'm finishing up with my meeting when a text from Harry lights up my phone.
Hiiiii my gorgeous. Hope your meeting is going well. I have a surprise for you. So when you come home, head out to the garden. Can't wait to see you.
I'm almost done babe. I'll be home soon. I love you.
I ignore my phone and finish my meeting, hugging Alice and hailing a cab to home. I'm almost nervous for whatever Harry has planned. I make it home quickly, heading through the house to the garden. My jaw drops when I get out there.
There are candles everywhere and a huge bed of pillows in the middle of the garden. Harry's standing waiting for me, smiling as I look around. "Babe, what is all this?" He smiles, reaching for me and pulls me to the pit of pillows. He kisses me, slipping his tongue gently into my mouth. He rests his forehead against mine and looks at me, a slight smile on his face.
"Sadie, I know something has been up lately. I can tell. Don't tell me there isn't. And I can't help but think it's still left from our spat," he smiles. "But I'm trying to fix us, make us perfect again. We've been together nine months now and I adore you. You know that. But I think you need to hear something to feel better." I just stare at him, anticipating his next words.
"Gorgeous, you are the love of my life. You're the big love that I'll never recover from. I've never looked at anyone and felt a tightening in my chest and fluttering in my stomach like I do when I see you. You're absolutely it for me. I will never not love you and I will never love another person. You're it. You're the big love. Do you hear me? Stop doubting us."
His words make my stomach flip and my heart feel like it's going to explode. "I love you too, Harry. I love you more than you can even imagine. I'm sorry I've been weird." I frown, looking down. "Why have you been so off babe?"
"I just felt like I was scared something would happen and I'd lose you. I felt that once and I can't handle the thought of it again. I love you. I want to be with you. I'm so sorry." He kisses me softly, "don't be sorry. Just talk to me next time, please. I love you too, so much. I want to spend the rest of my life in love with you."
I smile into his neck, sucking lightly on the skin there. He rolls us so he's on top of me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I grab his shirt, holding him close to me. He slowly strips me and himself, grabbing a condom from his jeans. He smirks and winks at me when I lift an eyebrow at his assumption.
He slowly makes room for himself between my legs, a pillow propping my hips up. He pushes in gently, leaning down to kiss my collar bone. I cling to him, wanting him as close to me as possible. He moves to nibble my ear, his breath tickling my skin. "I love you baby. Always remember that." I nod, sucking the skin on his shoulder.
Harry makes love to me for hours it seems, holding me close to him and whispering sweet words into my ears. I claw at him, needing to be as close to him as I can be. He kisses me passionately, erasing any question of our love from my mind.
I can't believe I ever doubted him or doubted us. We're perfect, and he's perfect, and nothing can ruin this. I squeeze him, kiss him, scratch him and moan into his ear, all while he loves me. "Harry, I love you. Shit, I love you so fucking much." He moves quicker, adding pressure with his hips. We move to a finish, him gasping and panting against my lips. "Fuck Sadie, come with me."
I do as he tells me, our bodies stuck together from the sweat. "I love you, Harry. Fuck. I love you. Don't ever leave me." I feel myself crying. "Baby," he says, wiping my tears, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise. You can't ever leave me again. I'll die." He kisses me before covering us with a blanket and we fall asleep under the stars, together.