Pharaoh's Eye

Pharaoh's Eye ₪ XLIX

Caira

I would start this letter out with Dear O'Neal, but it doesn't feel right saying it . I didn't start everybody else's letter out like that, I won't yours . I miss talking to you late night, I have you original letter sitting at the base . I didn't mail it because in all honesty I felt a little guilty, after leaving you in the states I slept with the guy you seen me holding hands with . I'm sorry if I hurt any feelings you had towards me, I need to be honest with myself and say I felt like I used you . I was looking to feel again, I wanted spend time with someone I felt understood me . Instead I took advantage of the situation and slept with you, I enjoyed myself and right down to the moment I left I cared about you . Especially your father situation, it's something I worry about everyday . It might not be something you want to hear by the way you acted the last I saw you . It's too early to tell, but I think I real love this guy . I --

"I can't do this shit ." I said crumbling the piece of paper

I've called O'Neal, stopped by his place and he doesn't want to communicate with me . I'm not sure if it was seeing me with Wes or something personal at home, I'm done what I can do to try and talk and understand our situation . O'Neal don't wanna talk, cool . I have other things to handle right now, the weeks I spent home were great but it's come to an end and I need to get back to work . I kissed my family goodbye and met Wes at the airport, I didn't really want to go back to the vigorous base but I beside completing this contract I have a whole new goal .

"What's going to happen when we get back to the base ?" I questioned laying my head on his shoulder as we sat on the plane to China

"Whatever you want, it's up to you if you're comfortable ."

"I'm pretty sure they already know, we just shouldn't have sex on the base ."

"I don't think it's too much of a problem . We just have to be respectful of each other around our superiors ."

"We'll be fine ."

After this long as plane ride we were back, back to work back to class . I've been passing with flying colors, Wes and I help each other even though I don't know shit about structural . If he doesn't continue after his contract is up he'll get a great job as a contractor, if we are successful staying together in years to come . I really don't know how I would feel, what if he's deployed somewhere dangerous speaking as if I don't continue my contract . It's a constant worry, right now it's not a factor I'm just trying to get through today .

"Seoul, may I have a moment please ?" Lieutenant asked

"Yes sir ." I eased from my seat as my class was dismissed

"You are the best students I've seen in a long time, you have a very bright future. One day I would love to see you in the higher ranks teaching this very class . But that's not why I called you, I know about your activities with Omokaro . Your little friend talked ."

"Sir I --."

"No need to get all nervous, I know when we group a whole bunch of male and females together people tend to get hot and heavy . Just keep it in your pants and stop going in our classroom, it's sickening . Fortunately you did it in the classrooms of people I don't like, so in your free time just rent a hotel off base . Anything on base is off limits, got it ?"

"Sir yes sir !"

"Dismissed private ."

I walked off to another class, Wes was held up waiting for me outside .

"What are you doing, you going to be late ."

"I want to walk you ."

"This ain't high school, I can find my way you making it too obvious Wes ."