Pharaoh's Eye

Pharaoh's Eye ♋ XLI

Caira

"Jermaine, it's not that easy maybe if it was three weeks ago I probably would've been confident enough . But I just can't . If I sleep with you and want something more, I have to think about you not only thinking of another girl but being with another nigga ."

"I wouldn't do that to you, I swear ."

"I don't want to take that chance ."

"When we spent that three days together, seeing if we would have a relationship . You didn't feel anything ? We almost slept together Caira, my dick was on your lips seconds from going in . You really didn't feel anything about me at all ?"

"I did but it didn't feel right, just like if I sleep with you now it won't feel right after . I thought it would be but it won't, I wanted to but your just somebody I really can't have ."

"I won't be with other niggas ."

I had trembles going down my back "Jermaine I'm just not okay with that, I'm happy with you being whoever you want but personally it's just something I don't want ."

"This shit is just like you, when the topic isn't focused on you . You forever trying to take control of it all ."

"No I'm not, the truth is I had somebody else to see tonight but I ditched them for you . Cause I knew you would try it, I wanted you to try it and I wasn't going to say no . But sleeping with you wouldn't have helped anything, your nigga going to be feeling dumb mad at you and I would've been stuck thinking if I did the right thing ."

"Maybe it's just best we don't talk to each other at all . I'm always going to want you and fuck things up . You never going to give me the chance, I'm always going to do my damn best to change that ."

"It doesn't have to be that way ."

"You moving anyway it'll be 10x easier ."

"But I want you to still be in my life ."

"I need time to get over you, I need this for me ."

"I'm sorry ."

"Don't apologize, I'll see you around ."

I hugged him tight and kissed him bye, we can't seem to get things right so maybe it is for the best .

Julius - I found your necklace 11:21 PM

I went home cause I needed some answers .

"Slow down, Jermaine is gay ?" Gerald ask

"Yes, well Bi Sexual in his world ."

"You just came from his house with intentions on sleeping with him ?"

"Yes ."

"But you didn't ?"

"Correct, to make a long story short . I'm lost and I don't know what to do, I don't want a relationship with anybody but I can't figure out why I keep coming back to these guys . I'm deadass transferring in a couple months cause I need to get away from this shit ."

"You asking to be single but you just don't want to be alone, what it really is you should've never given Jermaine the chance in the first place to see how you would do as a couple . Cause now you stuck between wanting him and not, he won't stop at nothing but to be with you . You only broke up with Julius because you know deep down inside everyday it kills him, and you did things way too fast . What's Julius favorite color ."

"I don't know ."

"What's his favorite food ?"

"I don't remember ."

"What's your favorite position ?"

"Gerald !"

"I'm asking you because you don't know everything personal, you just loved everything physical so you don't love him ."

"I know I don't, I would've just said that If you asked ."

"Well what do you need me for if you know everything ? Only thing I can tell you is focus on school, don't worry about any nigga cause you clearly don't need that right now ."

All of that is easier said than done, I been trying to do that but I can't hold down on it .

"I knew it was over here, thank you ."

"You alright ?"

"I'm fine, whatever you find of mine put it in the garbage . I won't miss it ."

"Stay a while ."

"Julius I really just want to go home, there's no need in waiting around . I'm moving in a couple of months ."

"Moving ?"

"Yes, I'm leaving . I can't stay here anymore, I need a healthy start ."

"Nothing I say will make a difference huh ?"

"Julius, what's my middle name ?"

"Nivea, why ?"

"Nothing will ."

"We may not be together and if that's what you want then it's whatever, but we can still stay friends right ?"

"I don't even care anymore, it's fine . Shits been too difficult, I'm no longer give a fuck about anything . It's one thing after another, I try to repair shit and it gets fucked up . I really don't care about shit ."

"Calm down ." he smirked

"Nothing's funny ."

"You ranting over bullshit, relax . Sit down ." he said pulling me down and massaged me "You too tense, when the last time you had some good dick . Oh that's right, when I gave it to you ."

"Julius please ."

"You don't have to beg I don't mind giving it to you ."

I hit him "Julius ."

"Shit, I'm just trying to make you feel better ."

"Your hurting me ."

"It has to hurt to feel good, you have to be worked out . I know exactly what will get you right ."

He came back with a blunt .

"I don't want that ."

"Just hit it ."

I hit it, making my ass hungry as hell . I did feel better though, I forgot half the shit that was bothering .

"Let me put this on before I lose it ." Picking up my necklace from the floor

"I got you ."

Julius taken the necklace from me, placed it around my neck as I held my hair . Once it was on he turned my head to kiss me .

"Ju -"

He wouldn't stop . We didn't stop .

"Oh god ." I moaned

"I missed you ."

"Shit ." I pushed

"What ? I'm hurting you ?"

"You have to stop ."

"I just started ."

"I don't want a relationship ."

He paused before answering "We don't have to have one ." Then continued