Pharaoh's Eye

Pharaoh's Eye ♋ LIV

Caira

"Baby Girl, what's up with the surprise trip of coming home?" Gerald asked

"I can't come home all of a sudden?"

"What's with the attitude?"

"I don't have an attitude, just drove all the way home to see my family and didn't --. You know what, never mind."

"What's up with you?" Hakeem asked

"Nothing, damn."

"Must be on her period," overhearing Gerald as I walked to the back to my room.

"Yeah, she's fighting a real combat dad. Don't know who would want to have her carrying this country on her back."

A smile rose upon my face as I heard a smack pop against Hakeem's head, "Owe, what the hell dad?"

"Watch your mouth boy."

This is the first trip I took without Wes back home, I'm in a different place of mind and I really just wanted to be alone. Wes and I are in a good position it's just me, I'm not very comfortable anymore with how everything is going. I'm being pushed too far, knowing myself when I get past my limit that's it I've made up my mind. Before that point approaches, I wanted to be sure of myself. Maybe I moved a little too fast, like fucking always so I need to grab the reigns on this one and see it for what it really is. Being here is where I felt something real and genuine for Wes everything about him screams perfect. The way my family loves him, the way treats me, and the way he cares about me totals up. I feel nervous, scared, and unprepared. I swear ever since that night talking about marriage and shit in China got the hairs on my skin standing and I promise it's not in a positive way.

"You alright?" Gerald popped in after giving me a few minutes to myself

"Do you ever feel trapped?"

"What do you mean?

"Like caught in something you feel you can't get out of?"

"You trying to get out of your contract?"

"No, more like a relationship."

"Why, what did he do to you?"

I smiled turning myself on my back, "Everything, he's done everything right. I'm not ready to play house, we had a talk about marriage."

"Caira, you only had a talk. He didn't put a ring on your finger yet, so what you worried about?"

"The moment he decides to and I shoot him down with a straight no! See, you remember Julius right? Well, some way in hell he lives in Texas now and well to keep it honest things are getting a bit hot."

"Hot like you wanna sleep with him."

"Yes ... No, he wants to sleep with me. But I'm not cheater G, I would never do that to Wes because I don't want that done to me. But I don't want to feel like I'm breaking his heart, because that's what it feels like and it's hurting me more that I'm thinking of leaving him like this."

"So temptation came your way and you can't handle it, that's what you're saying?"

"No, I can handle it. But, I just feel somewhat claustrophobic being tied down. I don't like answering to people, you of all people know that."

"I'm glad we fixed that between us."

I laughed, "You know me better than my own mother, what should I do?"

"You only live once baby, you have to do what your heart is telling you. Have sex, if that's what you really trying to get at I just wouldn't let that number total pass five."