Be My Girlfriend

59

Brittany's P.O.V.

I know today was hard for Jo.

I could see her face whenever someone would go up to her and say that they were sorry for what happened to her.

I mean, all day was like that.

It must be sickening to hear it over and over again, not knowing how to react anymore.

Do you thank them? Nod? Smile? Pretend it doesn't still sting?

I tried not to hover, tried to give her space today, but watching her sit through practice like a ghost of herself... it hurt.

I hated seeing her like that. Not just because she wasn't playing, though that too, but because she looked like she didn't even believe she belonged anymore.

She didn't say anything on the way to the car. Reese had been the buffer, asking if she was okay, if she wanted to talk. I could see Jo trying to hold it together, like always. Like she thinks it's her job to make sure we don't worry.

When we got to the car, I took her hand and held it.

"You made it through today." I told her, and she nodded like it didn't mean much.

But I know it did. I know what kind of strength it takes just to show up.

As I started the engine, I glanced at her again. She looked tired. Not the kind of tired you fix with sleep, the kind that sinks into your bones when you're carrying something too heavy.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." she said softly. Then a beat later, "What did you do and you earned detention?"

I smiled at her, glancing briefly on her side. I know she's just trying to change the subject, though maybe, she's also curious.

"It wasn't me, I just got dragged." 

It was a lie.

How can I tell her that I didn't get a detention, I mean, who's brave enough to impose one on me?

"I'm starving. What should we have for dinner?" I asked her when she didn't say anything.

"We can order in." She suggested.

As I park my car in front of her house, I leaned a bit closer to my windshield, trying to see if there is any light on. I guess I got this habit from her every time I will drop her off, a way of checking if her Mom is home.

Luckily she's not this time.

"How do you feel about sushi?" I asked her as I helped her with her crutches.

"Hmm, that's fine. Can you order some miso soup too?" 

I smiled at her nodding.

I threw our bags at the foot of her bed when we reached her room. Jo eased herself down slowly, careful with her leg, and leaned her crutches against the wall.

"I'll order." I said, pulling out my phone. "One miso soup coming up." 

She gave me a faint smile and leaned her back slowly to her head board.

There was a stillness in the room, not awkward, but heavy. Like we both knew something was coming but neither of us wanted to reach for it first.

Jo shifted, adjusting the pillow behind her back. Her fingers fidgeted with a loose thread on the blanket.

"Do you remember the fall?" She asked suddenly, voice soft.

I turned my head. "Of course I do. Kinda hard to forget." 

I sat beside her.

Her eyes didn't meet mine. "Did you... see how it happened? Like, did you see where I tripped?"

My stomach dipped. The way she asked that, so careful, so measured, it made something inside me tighten.

I tilted my head slightly, unsure of where she was going, but I kept my tone light.

"It was fast. You were running and then..." I mimed the motion of falling, weakly. "One second you were up, and then..."

She nodded slowly, like she expected that answer but wasn't satisfied with it.

"I know." She said, still not looking at me. "It just felt like... I don't know. Like I was nudged or clipped or something." She said carefully.

I swallowed, sat up a little straighter.

"Jo..." I knew who had been running closest to her. I think she knows too.

"Who was near you?" I asked, even though I already knew what she'd say.

There was a long pause before she speaks again.

"Hailey."

And there it was. The name hanging between us like smoke. I felt it settle in my chest, and I didn't like how it made me feel.

I looked down at my phone, pretending to still scroll, even though I wasn't.

Jo glanced at me then, like she was bracing for something, maybe a defense, maybe disbelief.

I didn't give either.

"It could've been anything. The field was a mess. You know how it dips weird on that side." I said, instead.

Even as I said it, I felt myself flinch a little. Like I was trying to convince myself more than her.

Jo didn't say anything.

I forced a small laugh. "I mean, Hailey's not... I'm sure she wouldn't—"

"Britt." Her voice was quiet but steady.

I looked at her. She was watching me now, eyes serious, searching. 

"I'm not accusing her." She said. "I just... She was right next to me." Jo continued. "I'm not saying she did anything. I just... I don't know. It's been playing over and over in my head and it doesn't feel right."

I nodded slowly, but my chest was tight.

The thing is, I didn't want to believe it.

Hailey- she's a lot of thing but she wouldn't do this, not this. Not once she showed any dislikes or whatever against Jo.

She could be a bitch sometimes, yes, but this? Tripping Jo on purpose?

No. That couldn't be real. That couldn't be true. Could it?

"Britt..." She called me softly.

I moved a little closer, careful not to crowd her, and took her hand. "We don't have to figure it all out tonight. But baby, I just want you to know that I've got your back, no matter what." 

The doorbell rang and we both flinched a little. I squeezed her hand before standing.

"Dinner's here." I said with a small smile.

And as I walked out to get it, I felt it too, even though I'm in denial, something about all this wasn't sitting right.

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