Be My Girlfriend

73

Brittany's P.O.V.

She's gone.

Jo is gone.

After the ceremony, I searched everywhere. I told myself she had to still be around. Maybe at the back of the gym, maybe with Reese, maybe standing outside to get some air. But when I looked, she was nowhere. The seats were emptying, families hugging, friends taking pictures, caps flying in the air—and still, no Jo.

My chest tightened with every second that passed. I didn't even care about my diploma, about my parents trying to call me back for photos, about the party waiting at home. None of it mattered.

All that mattered was Jo.

Despite my parents holding my arm, telling me to come to my own celebration, I pulled away. I didn't explain. I just ran. My heels clicked on the pavement as I rushed out of the school. I had to find her. I didn't care if I looked crazy. I didn't care if people whispered about me running down the street in my graduation gown.

I had one thought in my head: Jo.

I went to her house. My knuckles hurt from how hard I pounded on her front door. My voice broke as I called her name.

But no one answered.

And then, Mrs. Schmidt from next door came out, her eyes sad. She must have heard the noise, or maybe she already knew why I was there.

"She left, dear," she said softly, almost like she didn't want to hurt me more than I already looked. "She has all her stuff and left."

Just like that. Simple words. Words that crushed me.

She left.

She is gone.

Jo is gone.

I felt my whole world collapse under me. My knees weakened. I had to lean against the door to stay standing. The air felt too heavy, like I couldn't breathe.

There is no way to contact her.

The street felt empty. My heart felt emptier.

I walked home, but it didn't feel like walking. It felt like floating in a nightmare, every step hollow, the world muted. Cars passed. Kids on bikes laughed. But none of it touched me.

When I got to my house, the celebration was in full swing. Music, balloons, food, people congratulating me. All I saw were faces smiling at me like I was supposed to be happy. But I wasn't. I couldn't.

I slipped past them, ignoring the questions. 

"Where have you been?" 

"Why are you crying?" 

"Come take pictures!"

I didn't answer. I couldn't.

I locked myself in my room.

And I broke.

I cried into my pillow until it was wet. My chest hurt from sobbing so hard. My throat burned. My eyes swelled. Every thought in my head screamed her name.

 Jo. Jo. Jo.

The image of her on stage, delivering her speech, wouldn't leave my mind. She looked so strong, so brave, standing there with her voice steady, speaking words that cut me deep.

"Sometimes, the pain comes from the people we thought would never hurt us."

Those words were for me. I knew it. I felt it.

And she was right. I hurt her. I hurt the only girl I've ever truly loved.

The truth sat heavy in my chest. This was my fault. All of it.

It started with the plan, with the games we played, with me being too much of a coward to admit that I loved her. I let Gizelle and Hailey take control. I let them think I was part of it. I didn't stop them. And because of that, Jo's heart broke. Her spirit broke. Her dream was stolen from her.

And now, she was gone.

I kept thinking of Hailey tripping Jo on the field, how cruel it was, how unfair. And Jo thinking I had something to do with it. Thinking I wanted it. Thinking I wanted her destroyed. That thought made me want to scream.

Because I never wanted that. I never wanted her hurt.

But my silence, my cowardice, made it look like I did.

And now, Jo believed the worst of me.

I deserved it.

Two days passed, and I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even step outside my room. My parents thought I was just tired from graduation, but they didn't know the truth. They didn't know that I was breaking inside.

Everywhere I looked, I saw her. Every thought was her. The way she laughed, the way she rolled her eyes when I said something stupid, the way she made me feel like I wasn't just Brittany—the perfect girl with the perfect image—but someone real. Someone loved.

I lost that. I lost her.

And I couldn't stop thinking: what is power, what is popularity, what is control—if the person I love hates me?

The answer was clear. It was nothing. It meant nothing.

The friends I thought I needed, the reputation I thought mattered, the control I fought to keep—it all felt empty now. Hollow. A crown made of ash.

Because Jo wasn't here.

And she might never be again.

I sat on my bed, hugging my knees, whispering her name like it could somehow bring her back.

"Jo... Jo... please."

But the silence answered me.

I replayed every moment I had with her in my mind. Our first real talk. The way she looked at me when no one else was around. The way her touch made my heart race. The way she kissed me.

Those memories felt like gifts. And now they felt like curses.

Because I ruined it.

I ruined us.

Night turned into morning. Morning turned into night. I lost track of time. My phone buzzed with messages I didn't answer. Hailey and Gizelle texted me, but I couldn't even look at them. They were part of the reason Jo was gone. And so was I.

Mostly me.

I imagined Jo somewhere far away. Packing her bags, walking away from this town, this school, from me. I imagined her building a new life where my name didn't matter, where my face didn't haunt her.

The thought made me sick.

But maybe that was what she deserved. A clean start. A chance to be happy.

Even if it wasn't with me.

I curled back into bed, clutching the corner of her hoodie she once let me borrow, the one I never returned. It still smelled faintly like her, like fresh air and the shampoo she used. I pressed my face into it and cried until my body had nothing left.

Jo was gone.

But she would never really be gone from me. She would live in me, in every thought, every regret, every corner of my heart.

And I knew—no matter how much time passed, no matter who came into my life—there would always be a part of me that belonged only to her.

Because I loved her.

And I always would.

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