The den feels both familiar and strange. Looking around, she recognizes the house she grew up in, but doesn't really feel at home. Even hearing those words come out of Judy's mouth brings a sense of trepidation. "You've thought about me?"
"Yes," Judy confirms and walks in the room further. "I recognize that my reaction mustn't have been easy to deal with." Judy looks rather small at the moment, recognizing a mistake and acknowledging it to Quinn. It even seems almost too good to be true.
"I don't understand," Quinn admits and picks at something on her shirt. She manages to look up for a bit and actually look at her mom in the eyes.
Judy paces, probably as uncomfortable as Quinn feels about discussing the subject, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I shouldn't have attacked you with the information handed over to me." She pauses, searching for the right words. "I'm apologizing, Quinn, for not handling it better."
Surprised is not a good-enough word to express how Quinn feels or what her face looks like. It's delightful, actually, to hear her mother actually apologize to her for once. She feels like her entire life after the pregnancy scandal has been a string of apologies to her parents. It feels nice to be on this end.
Although she loves hearing her mother apologize about her behavior that night, she can't seem to get over the fact her mom hasn't mentioned her being gay or Rachel. She thinks it over and decides to let it go for the time being and see where her mom wants to take this conversation. "Thank you for apologizing," she murmurs. Apologies haven't always been her forte, but neither has been accepting them - showing emotion to her mother in any way scares her.
"Now, about Rachel," Judy says. Her heels stop clicking against the floor and she turns to fully face Quinn. "I mean, I don't get it, Quinn."
And there it is. What she was expecting. "What don't you get, mom?" She hears herself ask, through gritted teeth, already putting her defenses up.
Sensing this, Judy tries to ameliorate the situation, "hey, don't get upset yet. I'm trying to understand. I'm doing this for you. We're talking; it's all I want." When Quinn nods to convey she gets it, Judy continues. "I guess I don't have to understand, it just caught me by surprise," she shrugs, unable to hide her feelings about her daughter's relationship with someone else's daughter. "It just... Sits awkwardly in my head and the more I try to make sense of it, the less I like it."
Quinn visibly flinches and even takes two steps back to regain control of her body. The confession certainly took her by surprise but she reiterates with one of her own. "She makes me feel whole, mother. In a way that I've never felt before; she understands me."
Judy frowns, still not completely on board with the idea. Quinn notices that the look on her face is the same look she gets when she feels physically ill; right before she throws up. Now, Quinn hopes her mother isn't about to hurl, but she stays quiet and waits for her mom to say something. Really, the being quiet part is harder than she thought and she finds herself tapping her fingers on her jeans.
Finally, Judy speaks, "But the Bible,-" her eyes wander around the room, searching for something to support her gaze. "I mean." It's clear that she doesn't know what to say, or how to say it. Elaborating on the thought, she and Quinn know, will only cause a bigger strain between mother and daughter. Quinn stopped going to church the first trimester of her pregnancy and Judy has always felt somewhat angry about it.
"Isn't it ironic, mother, that people only seem to take from the Bible what suits their agenda? Most of the times, I hear Christians say that we should really only care about the New Testament but when it comes to the topic of homosexuality everyone is quoting Leviticus. But you know what else is condemned in Leviticus? Eating pork, or lobster. Now," she takes a breath to steady her train of thought and give Judy time to catch up also. "Then they'll say, well Paul condemns it, too and that's the New Testament. Well then, he also says drunkards won't earn Heaven, nor will adulterers, and as far as those words concern this family - seems like we'll all go to hell." She ends her rant with a bite.
