Kill My Mind || DOLLHOUSE Spin-off

58. Grayson

I wasn't planning to go anywhere. Honestly, I barely made it out of bed.
The day had been heavy in a way I couldn't explain — everything too loud, too sharp. Every text I ignored, every call I silenced, every empty room I sat in... it all stacked on top of me until breathing felt like something I had to remember to do.

I told myself I'd just take a drive. Clear my head. Get some air. But the thought crept in somewhere between the red lights and the endless skyline — Ale still sees me. Ale still knows me. And I craved it. God, I craved it so bad it made my hands shake against the steering wheel.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I was already pulling off the highway.
Already winding down the familiar streets. Already pulling up to Ale's place without texting, without calling. Without even pretending I had a reason.

I sat there in the car for a second, fingers drumming against the steering wheel, looking up at the windows like they might give me an answer.
For a second, I almost left. Told myself I could survive another night alone. That it wasn't fair to show up like this — tired, hollowed out, wanting something, but I didn't even know what it was yet.

But then I thought about the way Ale had looked at me the last time.
Like he still knew exactly who I was. Like I hadn't lost everything. And I realized I didn't want to be anywhere else.

His window was lit. A shadow moved. I imagined him inside, laughing, living. Without me.​

I stepped out, feet heavy, heart heavier. Each step to his door was a battle. I raised my hand to knock, hesitated, then let it fall.​ With another deep breath, I finally knocked. I waited a few moments, then Ale opened the door.

My breath caught in my throat. His hair was damp; he must have just gotten out of the shower.  He had on gray sweatpants and now shirt displaying his abs and his scars. His eyes widened. He hadn't expected me. His mouth opened to speak, but then he looked at my face. He closed his mouth and let out a shaky breath before stepping aside to let me in without saying a word. 

I walked in, and my eyes lingered on the couch. There was a jacket there. One I hadn't seen before, and I wondered if it was new or if it was someone else's. It wasn't like I didn't know we were both sleeping around. As if he read my mind, he walked over to the couch and grabbed it. "Told Matt to stop leaving his shit all over the house" he muttered under his breath and without realizing a sign of relief left me. 

Ale walked past me and into the kitchen. I followed silently. The dishes in the sink reminded me again that his life was normal. He was living a normal life without me. I sat down silently. He leaned against the counter, arms folded at his chest. 

After a moment, he finally looked up at me. He didn't have to speak, I knew he was analyzing me, trying to figure out why I came. "I'm not here for anything," he didn't speak. I looked down at my hands, unable to face him. Unable to accept that the concern and care in his eyes were for me when I didn't deserve it, "I just....I didn't want to be anywhere else."

"Okay," he said softly. There was no judgment, no annoying tone. He wasn't going to ask me to leave. I heard feet shuffling and cabinets opening. I watched as he moved around the kitchen. He grabbed some food from the fridge and put it on a plate before warming it up, then he grabbed a beer and a water. He handed it to be silently. As I went to grab it from him, our hands brushed. I pretended not to notice, I kept my eyes on the food, but a shiver went down my spine. 

"Thank you," I said softly. 

"Never have to thank you." He grabbed his beer and sat next to me. I ate slowly as we sat in silence. My eyes glued to the plate his to the wall across from us. This was the most comfort i have felt in months. 

"Do-" I cleared my throat, then continued, "Do you want to watch Star Wars?"

He chuckled, then took a swig of his drink. He turned to me slowly, a smile tugging at his lips. "God, no. I only watched that because you were my boyfriend." 

I chuckled with him, a smile on my lips now, "I could always kind of tell. Especially when you called light sabers fancy glow sticks."

Another light chuckle escaped us both. "They are." I shook my head and rolled my eyes playfully 

"What about Harry Potter? You liked that more. It's more friend level if you like it."

He paused, an eyebrow raised. His expression was still playful but now laced with caution, "You want to be my friend?"

I hesitated, "I-I realized it's easier to forgive you than to stay away from you."

He didn't answer, just looked at me like he was trying to decide if he heard right. Then he smiled. Not big, not smug, just real. "You miss me." He said gently 

"Shut up," I said as I rolled my eyes

I stood up, acting like I was going to leave, but I didn't make it more than a step before he spoke

"Fine. If you stay...we can watch Star Wars."

I looked back at him and shrugged, trying not to smile "I call corner of the couch."