Kill My Mind || DOLLHOUSE Spin-off

40.Grayson

Me: You almost here?

Baby <3: I'm comingggggg. 2 minutes awayyyy

Me: Are you drunk?

Baby <3: Only a little. I can sober up ;). 

I sighed at my phone. As I practically slammed it on counter. Ale was meant to be here an hour ago but he had gone for drinks with Nicks family since he hadn't seen him in about a week. Between me and work he was busy so he convinced me to push back the dinner I made for us so he could go out with them. 

I took a deep breath and placed my hands on the counter hanging my head and pushing my body back. "Fuck." 

After a few minutes of sitting in silence contemplating brining my anger up to Ale there was a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes and got up to get it "Where's your key?"

"Oh." he giggled "I left it home." I wasn't smiling like he was. I just turned around and walked into my house. He closed the door and followed behind "Are you upset with me?"

"A little."

"Love I told you I was going to be late."

"I know but you were even later than you said you would be a-and you're drunk and you fucking went out with Nick and his fucking family." I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms. I used to never care if the people I was seeing did shit like this. Hell they could have slept with other people and I didn't give a fuck. My feelings for Ale were just to strong

"Gray come on you know I wasn't doing anything with Nick other than hanging out."

"Ale, since he showed up a month ago you dropped everyone else in your life and when you're not with me you're with him. It's not normal."

He walked closer putting his arms around my waist "I can not have this argument with you again Gray. I know you don't believe me and it fucking kills me but I am not seeing Nick."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Excuse me?"I looked from my feet to  him

"Come on Ale. Since he's been back have you thought about being with him again?" he started to speak but stopped "You have." he looked away and clenched his jaw "Come on I'd rather you have thought about it and told me than fucking try and lie. It's childish."

"I have but not at the expense of you. It's more like the thought of if you hadn't been in the picture." he grabbed my hands "But I swear to you Gray I have not even considered leaving you or doing anything with him"

I dropped his hands "But you want to be with him."

"I want to be with you what don't you get!"

"Come on! Had we not been dating you'd be with him and had he not "died" where would be be right now."

"I'd be married to him" his answer was immediate and my stomach sank. He noticed his mistake quickly and as I walked away he grabbed onto my arm "Come on that's not fair. Things didn't work out like that. I'm not married to him. I'm with you."

"I-." I looked away "You love him and that's not fair to me."

"Gray please." his voice became unsteady 

"Ale I can't be with someone who wants someone else. Even if you want to be with me."

"Gray have you seen me run off to him? I've fucking stood by you for the past month making it clear I am with you. I've done nothing but try and prove myself to you." I started walking away "Gray you have to know at this point that I love you." I turned around. my hands were shaking. "Gray." he picked my hand up "I'm not just saying it because you're mad. I love you. Fuck I've loved you since the day you followed me out of Enzo's office." 

I looked down. I loved him too but Nick had won. He still had his heart and I couldn't keep competing. A tear slipped down my cheek and he wiped it "I love you so much Gray."

"Me or Nick." 

"Don't do this to me come on." I let out another tear and bit my lip hard trying to stop. I've only ever cried in front of Enzo but I loved him so much I was so hurt. 

"If you want me I'm sorry you can't keep seeing him."

"What have I done to make you think I would fucking cheat on you."

"It's the fact that you love him as well Ale!" I shouted he just wasn't getting it "I know you won't cheat but you're never going to stop loving him if you're his friend! I know it's unfair but I just can't be in your life if he is."

"Gray I can't just stop being his friend. That's like asking me to pretend he's dead again."

"So you pick him."

"Gray-"

"Me." I looked back at him and he had also shed a tear. When I saw his eyes I just knew. Even if he  didn't run off and marry Nick after this he was not going to let him go. I wanted to die "Or Nick."

He gulped and another tear dropped. "I-i'm so sorry. I- I love you and I don't want it to be like this. I want you more than anything b-"

I nodded my head "But he's to important." he slowly shook his head not convinced this was really over. I licked my lips wiping the last of my tears "I get it." I took a breath trying to compose myself "But you loving me isn't enough Ale"

"We're just friends" he also stopped crying finally excepting what I was doing 

"You told me that Ale...but we both know that's a lie." he stepped back and looked at me "I need you to leave."

"You have things at my place."

"I'll send someone to get them. They'll give you your things from here."

"Gray I'm sorry-"

"Go tell it to Nick." without saying anything else I turned and started walking to my room leaving him there. 

When I heard my door close and I knew he was gone I yelled. I just stood in the middle of my room and fucking screamed. I grabbed my blankets and threw them at the floor before throwing other things in my room at the wall till it looked like a huge mess. Before I knew it I was crying again. 

All I could think was how he was probably going to Nick and I fucked up but then I would think about how he fucked up by choosing Nick. All of me wish I hadn't said anything tonight but it's better I was hurt now and not later. 

I kind of hoped they would date now or this was all for fucking nothing. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. I believed he loved me. I could just tell in his eyes and how he said it. Alejandro was in love with me and I was so extremely in love with him. 

And now he was no longer mine.